The Way It Was Meant To Be
By RenZach

TITLE- The Way It Was Meant To Be
AUTHOR- RenZach
EMAIL ADDRESS- renzach@hotmail.com
SPOILER WARNING- Tabula Rasa
RATING- PG
PAIRING- B/G
DISCLAIMER- Joss owns them all, but could he just loan Giles out to me for a few minutes, thats all i'm asking for?
SUMMARY- The way I wish Tabula Rasa had gone.
FEEDBACK- Yes please.


The light turned on causing her to stir. She woke up feeling groggy and confused, what's going on and where am I? Panic began to set in as she realised she didn't know anything, not just the details of where she was and why she'd been asleep, but who she was and who were all these strange people around her? It was then that she noticed the weight of someone leaning on her shoulder, she felt it move and turned to see a handsome man seemingly wiping drool from her sleeve. He looked at her intently but neither seemed able to recognise the other. Murmers sounded from the others who were now just wakeing up. A shriek errupted from the strange man with platinum blonde hair as he fell from the counter. Chaos ensued as one by one they realised they had all somehow lost their memories and were in some sort of magic shop.

The man who had been asleep on her shoulder figured out he was British while he was proclaiming not to believe in magic. Hmmm she decided I might not know who he is right now or why we were sleeping together but he certainly has a soothing voice, some might even say sexy, I might even say sexy if I knew who I was. She stared at him as he continued to talk and couldn't help noticing how attractive he was, older it seemed but not too much so, in fact she had a nagging feeling that she liked older men, this one in particular.

The strange platinum haired man discovered he was English also and after some arguing it was decided they must be father and son. Things were going fine until he called her a trollop, just because they had been sleeping together ok and there was a slight age difference didn't mean she was a trollop. The red haired girl came up with the brilliant plan that they should check their drivers licenses as that would reveal their identities. She hunted for something, anything to tell her who she was but came up short. The sexy englishman, as she had begun to refer to him in her mind, discovered his name was Rupert Giles. A strange name but a strong one, at least he had a name. She was unable to find anything that would tell her who she was however everyone else had been able to determine their names already. The blonde girl who had switched on the light was Anya, the brown haired boy was Alexander and the red haired girl he had woken up with, his girlfriend apparantly, was Willow. Rupert's son was Randy and the sweet but frightened teenager was Dawn and seemingly her sister.

Well, she decided, since I have no clue what my name is, for the time being I will just have to give myself one. She thought for a moment and came up with Joan, she had always like hearing stories about Joan of Arc, so that sounded as good a name as any. A plan was devised to seek out a hospital to figure out what was wrong with them, why they had all suddenly come down with amnesia. They moved towards the door, Joan seeming to take the lead but when it was opened panic once more took over. There were two men with hideous faces, growling at them, someone quickly slammed the door shut and they all ran to hide. After some deliberation it was decided that they were vampires and it would be a good idea to make an escape. Since they were in a magic shop someone should stick around and try to figure out a spell that would maybe bring back their memories, or at least help them get rid of these vampires. Rupert suggested since this was apparantly his shop, he should stay behind and be the one to look for an incantation, Joan not wanting to be away from Rupert offered to stick around and help. The others decided to make their way through the sewers and get to a hospital.

Joan made a move to start looking through some of the books near the counter while Rupert tried elsewhere. Whilst looking for a handkerchef to wipe some dust from his hands he came across a one way plane ticket to England in his jacket pocket, his name was written on it. He hastily placed it back where he had found it, not quite sure what it meant just yet. Joan meanwhile had found a book she was certain was the right one, instinct had apparantly told her so. She began to read from it but rather than helping the situation a bunny appeared, after much trial and error, trial on Rupert's patience and error on Joan's part, they were surrounded by bunnies, a sword weilding skeleton and some sort of demon they could hear moaning from their hiding spot behind the counter. It had probably descended from the rather large green mystical looking cloud that had appeared overhead during one of Joan's obviously misjudged spells.

Rupert was beginning to get more and more frustrated with her and blurted out "God, no wonder I'm leaving you." He pulled the plane ticket from his pocket and explained that it was a one way ticket out of this relationship. "Of all the nerve." She pouted and felt tears moisten her eyes. This was far too much to handle, first she discovers she's in a relationship with this wonderfully handsome man and now she learns he's about to leave her life for good? He continued to look for a spell that would remove them from the predicament that she had put them in, he couldn't help but feel guilty however, at the things he had just said to Joan. Although he couldn't remember anything about her or the nature of their relationship he knew he loved her with all his heart, he could feel it radiating from his entire being.

He came across a spell that looked like the right one and recited the words in latin. The noises stopped suddenly and they risked a look over the counter to discover that things were back to normal, well normal considering they still had amnesia. Joan looked extremely beautiful as relief washed over her features, he regretted even more his words now as he had seen the affect they'd had on her. "I'm so sorry darling." "No Ruppie I'm sorry you were right, that was the wrong book." "Oh, um, er... yes..yes it was, but I'm..I'm still sorry." She sighed in pain and begged him, "don't leave me." She wasn't sure what their relationship was but knew that if he left her she would die inside. "Oh Joan" He made his way over to her and swept her into his embrace, they kissed passionatly for what seemed like an eternity, but was in reality only a few glorious minutes.

Meanwhile, in the sewers below them a crystal slipped from Willow's pocket and was crushed beneath Alex's shoe. The moment it shattered the amnesia was gone and they realised with horrible clarity the missassumptions they had made. Tara distraught that Willow had betrayed her began to cry. Back in the magic shop the couple continued to kiss, Giles had been ready to stop but figuring this may be his only chance to ever kiss Buffy the way he had spent so many sleepless nights imagining was unable to make himself do so. He marvelled at this gift God had given him that his memory would return before hers so he could make the most of this miracle.

Buffy's memories came back to her in a flood and realised that she was in fact kissing Giles, her mentor, her love, the man she had dreamt of being with for years. I should stop I know I should but what would a teensy bit longer hurt? As soon as he gets his memory back I'll stop and though it will hurt like hell at least I will have the memory of this one incredible kiss. The kiss lasted mere moments before Giles accidentally blurted out "Oh my dearest Buffy." His eyes popped open and he leapt from her like he had been scalded with boiling water. Buffy moaned at the loss of his lips and tongue mating with hers, the feel of his arms cradling her body, their heartbeats racing in tune. It was then that realisation slipped into her muddled brain, he had said her name, not Joan the one she had given herself but her real name. That meant he knew he was kissing her and he apparantly liked it.

"Oh my goodness, Buffy I...I...I'm so terribly sorry, I can't believe I allowed myself to take advantage of you like that. I understand that I have violated your trust and will be leaving tonight as planned." "Giles, why did you keep kissing me?" He wasn't sure how to proceed, should he confess his undying love to her? He figured the damage had already been done and he would leave like he planned so where was the harm in telling her? "Buffy I know this will shock you but I have to tell you something I have kept secret for many years now." She looked up at him hopefully and held her breathe. He paused as he noticed the look in her eyes but put it down to wishful thinking. "Buffy I am madly, deeply, irrevocably in love with you. I tried so very hard to fight it, but I was weak, I'm sorry. It's just that your such an amazing young woman, such a paradox, so strong yet so frail at the same time, I don't think there is anyway I could have prevented falling in love with you."

Buffy's heart leapt and a giant smile broke out on her face as tears began to flood it. Giles, taken aback by this response moved forward to dry her face with his hand. She threw her arms around him and sobbed into his chest, his arms slowly moved to pull her closer. He held her like that for a time, listening to her tears subside and enjoying one last embrace with her. She moved back a little but refused to let go, she looked up at him and finally spoke, "Giles, don't you know that I've been madly in love with you also? That I have wanted to be held and kissed by you like this for so long? Please don't leave me Giles, I'll die without you, maybe not physically again but everything that is me will be gone. I love you and before you even say it, no I'm not imagining this or saying it just to convince you to stay, I've known for so quite some time but never dared hope you felt the same. Please believe me Giles, let me prove my love to you, let me spend my life proving it." Giles looked at her, really looked this time and was amazed by what he saw plainly written on her face, she meant every word, she loved him. He felt like laughing aloud he was so giddy with happiness, but opted instead to kiss her senseless. He knew then that home was wherever Buffy was and that he would be by her side always.