Watching... Waiting... Yearning
By Adelaide Elizabeth Morgan

Summary: Giles has something he needs to get off his chest
Rating: PG.
Pairings: Het. Giles/Jenny, Giles/Buffy.
Timeline: Season 2.
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: Sunnydale and all it's inhabitants are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox Entertainment. No copyright infringements intended and no money is being made out of these fanfictions.
Date: February 2001

One would have thought that by the time one has reached a certain age, he would easily be able to separate love from desire.

It seems that is not necessarily true.

One would also have thought that one's interests would lie in women his own age, beautiful intelligent women such as you.

Jenny, you are a wonderful woman who has captured my heart and I have fallen completely in love with you, much to the amusement of a certain group of teenagers who have nothing better to do than meddle in the affairs of their elders.

I often fear that their assessment of me being 'an old fuddy duddy' is somewhat a correct one, though I find myself as tongue-tied as Xander around a pretty girl when I am around you.

Luckily, you were not backward in coming forward, being very much a 90's woman.

I love you Jenny, but...

I really need someone to talk to about this, and you are the only person I can turn to. Slight problem in that you are dead, but I'm sure you're listening to me anyway.

Buffy is eating herself up about the Angelus affair, all but blaming you for her death. There is part of me that blames her, part that blames me for some reason, and, though I hate to admit it... Yes a great deal of the blame does lie on your shoulders.

But that is not what I need to speak to you about.


Watching Buffy grieving over Angel has stirred up something in me that I do not fully understand.

A something that makes me want to pull her into my arms and tell her not to worry that I will always be here for her.

A something that makes me want to tip up her chin and kiss on her lips in a way that that vampire of her's could never do.

A something that makes me want to lie her down on my bed and show her all the pleasures a real man can give her.

What's wrong with me Jenny? She's seventeen; she's still a child. I cannot be feeling these... emotions. They are wrong, they are disgusting.

As wrong as the idea of the vampire in love with the slayer. Poetic, that's what I called it when I spoke with him. Even then I had the stirrings of what I now know to be jealousy

She is the slayer. I am the watcher, and she is the slayer. That is all there is, all there can be.

Why am I feeling these things?

Why am I falling in love with Buffy Summers?