Special Friend
By Cindy Bowers

RATING: PG-13 (Language)
SPOILERS: Thru The Yoko Factor
SUMMARY: What happens the next day.
DISCLAIMER: Joss and the PTB own all.
DISTRIBUTION: SOLO, please. Everyone else just let me know where.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I know my grammar sucks. Please don't flame me for it.
My sister was helping me, but began to wig(she's a B/R shipper).
DEDICATION:  To all the writers I've begged stories from.  AND to Gibberish.
Her story Familiar inspired me.


A shaft of sunlight illuminated the side of Giles' face as he started to wake up.  He turned his face to the intruding light and cracked open one bloodshot eye.  "Bloody hell, my head" he groaned, quickly shutting his eye and turning his head.  The movement sent spikes of pain through his skull, and he groaned again.  Gingerly he sat up as waves of nausea overwhelmed him.  BATHROOM flashed through his mind as he slapped his hand across his mouth.  Rushing down the stairs at an alarming rate, he felt his foot slip and he managed one "oh dear" before tumbling more than halfway down the steps.  He came to a bone crunching halt as his head impacted hard with the floor.  Giving one last groan he lapsed into unconsciousness as blood seeped from the gash above his left eye.

* * *

Buffy made her way across campus heading for Giles' flat.  The anger radiating off her was almost palpable.  She hadn't been able to locate Adam. Riley was AWOL from the hideout and Willow and Xander still weren't talking to her.  Therefore, she decided to go take her ire out on her drunken, drooling, ex-watcher.  She knew he would have a nasty hangover this morning.  Arriving at his door she smirked at the thought.  His having a hangover would make yelling at him doubly satisfying.

Letting herself into Giles' flat, she screeched out, "Giles! Wakey, Wakey," at the top of her lungs.  Getting no response Buffy walked further into the room.  "Giles," she called again.  Spotting his prone form lying at the foot of the stairs, she rushed over to him.

"Giles?" Buffy said as she gently rolled him over.  "Oh God, not again."  Taking in the gash on his forehead and the pool of blood on the floor, she quickly felt for a pulse.  Her heart nearly stopped until she felt the steading thudding underneath her fingertips.  Her first thought was that she needed help.  "What's the number for 911?" she asked herself aloud, as she raced for the phone.

* * *

Rushing up to the Nurses station, Buffy quickly started interrogating the nurses.  "How is he?  Is he awake?  Is he all right?  Please, please tell me.  I-I need to know."

Nurse Kelley shared a pained look with the nurse next to her before she looked at the distraught young woman.  She took a deep beath and prayed for patience.  "What's your name, honey?"

"Buffy, Buffy Summers."

"Ok, Buffy," the nurse said, "I need to know the patient's name and when he was admitted."

"It's Giles. Rupert Giles.  He was brought here about twenty minutes ago." Buffy told her.

"He was brought to the Emergency Room?" the nurse asked for clarification.

"Yes. He fell down the stairs an-and he wouldn't wake up" Buffy wailed.  "I called 911, and they brought him here.  They wouldn't let me ride in the ambulance.  I had to walk."

"Are you a family member?" the nurse asked.  She could see the young woman was becoming highly agitated.

"No. Giles is from England.  I'm the closest thing he has to a family in this country." Buffy told her.  She looked at the nurse pleadingly, "Please, I need to know how he is."

Nurse Kelley said, "Ok, you go have a seat in the waiting room, and I'll check to see what I can find out about your friend."

As the nurse started to walk away Buffy had a sudden thought, "Where are the phones?  I need to let the others know what happened."

"They're around the corner, on the left wall" the nurse said over her shoulder as she continued down the hall.

Buffy went to the phones and dialed Tara's number.


"Tara, this is Buffy.  Can I speak with Willow?"

"Um, ju-just a minute," she stammered.  "Willow w-wants to know w-what you want."

Fear turning to anger, Buffy spat out, "Giles is in the emergency room...if she cares."  Then she slammed the phone down so hard it broke into bits.

Going back to the waiting room, Buffy sat down and wrapped her arms tightly around herself.  As the worry set in she began to weep.  Large, fat tears quietly seeped down her cheeks.

* * *

A long while later Buffy was startled out of her weeping by a gently uttered "Miss Summers?"  Buffy quickly raised her head.  Her lovely blue-green eyes were anxious and shinning with moisture.  Her eyes met the slightly stunned gaze of a thirty-something doctor.  "Yes," she replied to his inquiry.

Doctor Berman stood mute for a moment, his voice stolen by the beauty of the young woman in front of him.

"Doctor? I-Giles. How is he?" Buffy quizzed, fear apparent in her voice.

"Are you Mr. Giles' daughter?" At the negative shake of her head he asked, "Are you related to him in any way?"

"No," Buffy replied.  "I'm his friend."

"His...friend?" the doctor asked, a question in his voice.

Thinking quickly Buffy said, "Yes, his friend."  She put special emphasis on friend and raised her eyebrows.  "He doesn't have any family in this country."

"Oh, um-okay" the doctor stammered, blushing a little.  He consulted his clipboard as he continued.  "The good news is that Mr. Giles' vitals are good.  I've stitched his cut; it took eighteen stitches.  He doesn't have any broken bones."

"That's a relief.  What's the bad news?"  Buffy felt all her muscles tense before the doctor responded.

"The bad news is...he still hasn't woken up."

"But, he is all right?" Buffy questioned.

"If-when he wakes up he should be fine.  I have rounds to make now.  I'll see you again when I know more."  He turned and started to walk away.

"Doctor, wait," Buffy said and he turned back to her.


"Can I ask you a favor?"  The doctor raised an eyebrow and Buffy continued, "Would you let me see Giles?  Let me stay with him 'til he wakes up?  I promise I won't get in the way, please."

"I'm sorry, Miss Summers, but that's against hospital regulations."

"Please, Doctor," Buffy pleaded.  "I need to be with him.  I-I need to..."  She couldn't squeeze anything else out past the lump in her throat.  Tears were beginning to seep from her eyes again.  "Please."

"All right, but you have to be very quiet Miss Summers."

Yes!  Buffy thought and beamed at him, eyes sparkling like gems.  "I will be absolutely mouse like," Buffy said as she made a zipping motion over her mouth.  "Thank you again Doc and, please, call me Buffy."

"Um-yeah, Buffy, right," Dr. Berman barely managed, once again stunned by her loveliness.

* * *

Buffy paused outside the door to Giles' room.  She could do this.  "C'mon Buff," she muttered to herself, "you can do this."  Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and walked inside.  At her first glimpse of Giles she cried out "Oh God, Giles."

He looked so pale.  She'd seen Vampires with more color.  The only color he had was from the huge bruises covering his face and arms.

Creeping quietly over to his bed, Buffy gently reached out and touched his unshaven jaw.  She was somewhat comforted by the warmth of his skin.  It's prickly texture sent tingles across her palm.  Gently she traced his features.  His brow.  The bridge of his nose.  The outline of his lips.  They were so soft.  Funny, she'd never thought of Giles' lips before.  Why was she thinking about them now?  Bad Buffy, she thought to herself.  Suddenly, a hand reached up and grasped her wrist.  Buffy jumped back, and Giles gave a pained moan.  She moved closer to him again and whispered, "Giles. Giles wake up.  Are you Ok?"

Giles groggily opened his eyes and looked at Buffy.  Then he looked around the room.  Once again he shifted his gaze back to Buffy, confusion apparent in his expression.  "W-wha..? Where? Oh a-a hospital."

"Yes Giles, you're in the hospital."  Now that Buffy could see Giles was going to be ok, all her fear turned to anger.  "You big dumb ass. You just had to get drunk and fall down the steps and hit your head.  Again.  What's up with your hitting your head anyway?  It seems you do it at least twice a month."

Buffy blew the bangs out of her eyes and continued.  "You know, one of these days you're going to get knocked out, and you're not going to wake up.  Then where would we be?  What would I do without you?  Oh, God."  Suddenly the tears started again, and Buffy started babbling.  "What would I do without you?  Your were so still and pale, and I couldn't wake you up.  Oh Giles, please, please don't do that to me again.  I-I can't loose you.  I love you so much."  She couldn't control herself any longer.  She leaned over, hugged Giles and buried her face in his neck.

Giles raised his arms, groaning silently, and returned the girl's hug. I'm sorry, but who..." he began but was interrupted by the appearance of Dr. Berman.

"Well, well.  Look who's joined the land of the living."  The doctor said just a little too loudly.  Giles gave a little moan and laid his hand across his head.  "How are you feeling Mr. Giles?"

"Everything hurts, and I do believe I am going to heave.  How about you?"

Dr. Berman ignored Giles' sarcastic question.  "I should imagine everything does hurt.  You're covered in bruises and on top of that you probably have a raging hangover.  You really must have tied one on last night."  The doctor actually snickered as he said the last.

"Oh, Um-well..." Giles began, "actually, I don't remember."

"That's not unusual after a head injury Mr. Giles.  You may or may not remember anything about the accident."

"No, I-uh, I mean, I don't remember, well anything."  Giles said a bit sheepishly.

"What?" Buffy cried.  "You-you can't..." she sputtered into a dazed silence.   Her feet slid out from under her.  "Ooof.  You don't remember me?"  she said in a small voice.

"Can you remember anything?" Dr. Berman asked.  "Your name? Her?" he pointed down at Buffy.

"No, I-I can't."  Giles replied, his voice full of fear.  He instinctively looked at Buffy, his eyes filled with apology.  "What do I do now?"

Buffy visibly composed herself and then got out of the chair she'd landed in.  She wouldn't do Giles any good by acting hysterical.  She took a deep breath and began.  "Well, first we're going to introduce ourselves, then you're going to get some rest."

Dr. Berman led the introductions.  "I'm Dr. Garrett Berman and this lovely young lady is your friend, Buffy Summers.  And you are Rupert Giles."

Giles looked from one to the other.  "Hello Doctor, Miss Summers.  It's nice to meet you."

"Giles...it's...call me Buffy."

"All right then.  Buffy it is.  Why do you call me Giles?" he questioned.

"Because your name is Rupert." She answered.

"I take it you don't like my name" he stated as he shared a smile with the doctor.

"It's Rupert" she stated again, emphasising the Rupert and letting out a small "ick."

"Okay, enough with the questions" Dr. Berman said.  "Lets leave Rupert alone so he can get some rest.  If his memory hasn't returned by morning we'll start testing."

Buffy leaned over Giles and gave him a hug and a small kiss on the corner of his mouth.  "I'll see you later."  He almost didn't hear her very quietly uttered "I love you, Giles."  Then she turned and walked toward the door.

"She'll return to you soon, Rupert." Dr. Berman said as he took Buffy's arm to lead her out.  The doctor turned to say goodbye.  As he did, he caught an odd expression on Giles' face.  It looked almost like jealousy.

After the door shut Giles thought to himself, "I may not know who she is, but I know whose she is."  Then he closed his eyes and went to sleep, knowing his beautiful angel would be back.

* * *

As Buffy and Dr. Berman walked down the corridor of the Hospital, Buffy was almost overcome by a deluge of emotions.  Worry was uppermost in her mind.  She was worried about Giles's health.  She was worried that he wouldn't get his memory back. She was worried that if he didn't get his memory back he wouldn't be able to fend for himself on the Hellmouth.  He also wouldn't be able to help her when she needed him.  "Ok, Buffy, selfish much" she mumbled under her breath.

"Did you say something, Buffy?" the doctor asked her.

"Do you really think Giles will be ok and, you know, get his memory back Doc?" Buffy asked.  "Cuz him not having his memory would be bad, worse than bad, it would be Überbad."

"Amnesia is not at all unusual in head injuries.  It usually goes away in a few days or weeks" he replied.


"In rare instances the amnesia has been permanent.  However, in those cases there was severe neural damage.  Mr. Giles was lucky.  He had only a mild concussion.  This leads me to believe that his amnesia could be more emotionally related" the doctor told her.

"What makes you think that?"  Buffy ask nervously.

"Well, for one thing he was drunk.  It makes me wonder what would make a man who has his health and someone like you drink that much liquor" he questioned.

Blushing, Buffy lowered her gaze to the floor.


"I-well we sorta had a fight last night" Buffy mumbled.

"A fight?"

"Yes.  He-I.they all yelled at me last night" she stammered.

"Why and who is they?" he asked.

"My friends, Willow and Xander" Buffy said as she began to pace back and forth. "They said that I had been talking about them.  Why would I talk about them?" she asked.  Then she continued before the doctor could answer "they said that I thought I was too superior to hang with them.  That I didn't need them anymore.  I tried to tell them that they were wrong, but they wouldn't listen to me" Buffy said indignantly. "Giles didn't help at all.  He just sat there, drinking like a fish.  Every now and then he would throw in some snide comment about my behavior.  I couldn't believe how childish they were all acting." "I.

"Childish" came a furious shout from behind Buffy.

Buffy turned to face Willow and Xander, who had walked up during her tirade.

Oh boy, thought Dr. Berman as he took in the red head with the furious expression and the dark haired young man.

"Uh-Willow, Xander um hi it's about time you guys got here.  You missed Giles' big wake up scene" Buffy told them

"Childish" Willow once again shouted.

"People, please, let's continue this a little quieter" Dr. Berman interjected.

"Playing poor little me with the Doc, Buff" Xander asked in a disgusted voice.

"How dare you call us childish" Willow ground out.

"Willow I didn't mean it that way. I." Buffy began

"SHUT UP!  I have had it up to here" Willow indicated with a hand at her throat "with you and your behavior.   Since school started, you changed Buffy and it was not a good change."  Willow got up in Buffy's face and said "you have been very selfish.  You've ignored us.  You only spend time with us when you need something or Riley's busy. You've lied to us.  Damn it Buffy you've treated us like dirt.  Like we're just secondary characters in a Buffy drama.  And Buffy you've treated Giles the worst of all.  How could you behave like that with him.  After all that he has done for you, all that you've put him thru.How?  I mean, My God, the only reason he's even in this country is because of you.  He."

"Okay, ladies.  That's enough for now."  Doctor Berman broke in.  "Lets go into my office and discuss what's important here, Mr. Giles, and his problem."

"I thought we were discussing Giles' problem. Buffy" Xander quipped.

"Xander" the doctor said, exasperation coloring his voice "Lets go."

"Why does everyone say my name like that?" Xander asked no one in particular.  As usual no one answered him.

Suddenly Dr. Berman stopped to listen as the Hospital's PA system blared to life.  "Dr. Berman, Dr. Berman to emergency" a disembodied voice announced.

"I've got to go" the doctor stated.  "I want all three of you in my office at 9:00 am in the morning.  We still need to discuss Mr. Giles."

"But." Buffy stammered.

"Why?" Willow asked.

"Why me?"  Xander moaned.

"Just be there" the doctor ordered.  "Buffy will fill you in." he trailed off as he took in Buffy's mutinous look "Buffy you will tell them what's going on.  Right?"

"Right" Buffy said, resigned.

Dr. Berman started towards the ER.

"Oh-uh, Doc could we go see Giles again?  Please.  Willow and Xander haven't seen him yet.  And I promise no fighting" Buffy pleaded.

He looked at Willow and Xander's equally pleading faces.  "No fighting?"  he asked.

"No fighting" they both agreed.

"All right then, but don't stay too long? Ok?"

"Sure thing Doc" Xander shot back.

"Yes doctor" Willow answered and Dr. Berman reluctantly left.

* * *

"His room is this way" Buffy told them.

"Buffy what did Dr. Berman mean when he said Giles' problem?  The nurse told us he was awake.  Is he not ok?"  Willow asked.

"Giles is awake and everything is healing ok, but he has amnesia"  Buffy told them.

"Amnesia, cool" Xander stated.  "He doesn't remember all the times we've messed up?  Where's the bad in that?"

"Xander" Willow cried "how can you say that.  "That's mean.  It's not just the bad things he can't remember it's the good things to."

"What good things?" Xander questioned.

"You, Willow an-and me." Buffy's voice was thick with unshed tears. "Look, can we just call a truce for now and concentrate on Giles.  We can do the bad Buffy thing later."

"I-uh Oh God Buffy I'm sorry" Xander apologized and wrapped his arms around Buffy trying to comfort her.

"Me too, group hug" Willow said as she joined the hug.  "But we will get back to the bad Buffy thing" Willow said wearing her resolve face.

After a few minutes they broke apart looking a little embarrassed.

"Well" Xander was the first to speak "Lets go see the G-man."

"Um before we go there is something I need to tell you guys"  Buffy began.

"Oh Buffy we know your sorry and we will eventually forgive you.  Just don't let it happen again. Ok." Willow said.

"That wasn't what I was going to tell you."  Buffy trailed off as she saw the irate expression return to Willows face "yet" Buffy added.  She sighed in relief when she saw Willow's face clear.

"What is it Buffy?"  Willow asked.

"Well I kinda told them that I was Giles' friend after he was admitted" Buffy told them, a sheepish expression on her face.

"What?" Xander shouted.

"Why?" Willow asked.  "Why would you tell them that?  You're not his girlfriend.  I uh mean you're not are you?  No, no of course you're not.  Xander you're supposed to stop me when I'm babbling."

"No I'm not Giles' girlfriend.  Eieew.Except his lips are really soft and." Buffy trailed off a dreamy expression on her face.

"Buffy" Xander shouted again "you're wiggin me here.  "Stop it with the Giles lips thing.  Buffy and Giles' lips.yeesh ugh.   I may need to yak."

"I think Giles' lips are sexy" Willow replied, "especially when he sings."

Buffy didn't know why, but she didn't want Willow thinking about Giles' lips.  "Anyway we all need to pretend that I am Giles' very special friend or they won't let us in to see him" Buffy told them.

* * *

As the trio entered the room, they saw Giles sitting up in bed. A nurse was taking his temperature.

When Giles saw Buffy his eyes shone and he tried to smile around the thermometer.  The nurse looked at the three visitors disapprovingly.  "I'm sorry, but visiting hours are over you'll have to come back later.

Buffy glared at the nurse and said "Dr. Berman gave us permission to be here." She walked over to the bed leaned down and kissed Giles' forehead "I'm not leaving."  Giles looked at her, gratitude in his eyes.

The nurse removed the thermometer, gave a "humf" and left the room.

"Thank you, Buffy" Giles said.

"Anytime" Buffy replied.

"So G-man, how's it hanging?" Xander asked.

"Xander" Willow said embarrassed.

"Don't call him that" Buffy replied.

"Ah-uh fine T-thank you, and you" Giles stammered.

"Giles these are our friends" Buffy said "Willow Rosenberg and Xander Harris."

"I'm very pleased to meet you, both" Giles replied.

Instead of responding to the introduction, Willow ran over to Giles and hugged him.  "Oh Giles, I'm so glad you're alright."

"Yeah man, me too" Xander said.  "As often as you get hit in the head it's a wonder you don't have even more brain damage."  Catching sight of Buffy's face, Xander gave a small yell and ran from the room.

"I am so going to make him bleed" Buffy stated.

After a few more tears and hugs, Willow left Buffy and Giles alone.  She promised to return again tomorrow.

"Buffy will you tell me a little about yourself.about me, about us." Giles asked her.

"Okaaay" Buffy drew out.  "A long time ago in a high school far, far away." Giles just looked at her puzzled.  "Sorry, I forgot you're not exactly pop culture man."  She took a deep breath and began (carefully editing where she could) "My mom and I moved here about four years ago.  I met you at Sunnydale HS.  You worked as the Librarian there.  You were nice enough to take an interest in me and my friends.  You are responsible for me graduating.  You helped me study, encouraged me when I was down, and you were there for me whenever and however I needed you.  You're Giles.  I'm not sure what else to say" she told him.  Sitting down on the bed she leaned down and place her cheek on his chest.  "Steady, dependable, smart, loyal, loving."she trailed off at his sigh.  She raised her head and saw the disgruntled expression on his face.

"I sound like a Bassett Hound" he told her.

"...mysterious, dangerous, sexy, Giles" he gave a small smile as she finished.

"What about vital statistics?" he asked.

"Well you're 46 years old.  6' 2" tall and you weigh about 175lbs.

"Um Buffy how old are you?" Giles asked sleepily.

Buffy froze.  If  she told Giles her age he might get suspicious.   She racked her brain to think of a way to get out of telling him how old she was.  As she looked at him she once again thought about his lips.  Suddenly she had an idea.  Leaning down slowly Buffy murmured "old enough" then gently brushed her lips across his.

"Mmmh" he breathed.

Buffy brushed her lips across his again, harder.  Then she returned a third time, nipping slightly.  He parted his lips and she sealed her mouth over his.  Teasingly she slipped her tongue into his mouth, tasting.  All thought ceased except one-more.  Giles placed one hand behind her head and one on her shoulder, holding her in place, and taking charge of the kiss.  He tilted her head and sucked her tongue deeper into his mouth.  Then he tilted her head again and nipped her lower lip.  He licked and sucked at it again and again before plunging his tongue into her mouth.  Slowly he trailed his other hand down to her breast.  Startled Buffy jerked back.  Panting as if she had just finished a marathon, Buffy rubbed her lips.  WOW was her only coherent thought.

"Buffy, luv, are you all right?" he asked.  She had the oddest expression on her face.

"WOW-uh, I-uh I gotta go.  I'll see you in the morning."  Leaning down once more she gave him a quick peck on the lips, murmured "bye" and rushed out the door as if a Hell Hound were after her.  Hell Hound, what an odd expression old man, he thought.

Outside the door of Giles' room, Buffy leaned against the wall.  Slowly she slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor, head against her knees.  One thought running thru her head.WOW!

* * *

Thursday morning found Buffy, Xander, and Willow waiting in Dr. Berman's office.

"I wonder where he is?" Buffy asked.

"He probably had rounds to make" Willow answered.

Just as Xander was about to make a smartass remark about doctors really getting around, Dr. Berman entered the room.

"Hello, all" the doctor greeted them.  "Good news."

"Really" Buffy asked.  "Giles has his memory back?"

"Well, not quite that good" Dr. Berman told her.  "All his tests came back and we can find no permanent damage.  In my opinion, this leads me to believe his amnesia is emotional rather than physical."

"And that's good.how?" Buffy exclaimed.

"Well, with emotionally caused amnesia, there is better than a 95% chance that his memory will return, fully, within a week or so" the doctor reassured her.

"A-a week, I can deal with a week" Buffy told him.

"I said a week or so, Buffy, there is no certain set time limit" he reminded her.  "Now what I want to discuss with all of you is this. Rupert is well enough to go home, but he doesn't need to be left by himself.  He is going to need someone close by until his memory returns.  When it does it is likely to be very traumatic for him.  Being bombarded by a rush of memories, well, lets just say that it's not pleasant.  Seeing as how you and Rupert are so close, most of this responsibility will fall on you Buffy."

At this, Xander interrupted the doctor "Buffy no, no, no.  You see Doc, Buffy isn't into responsibility this year. She's more into shagging; the military; and shagging military guys."

"Xander that's not right" Willow spoke up, earning a smile of thanks from Buffy, which quickly changed to a frown as she continued "it's guy, singular, not plural."

"Guys" Buffy exclaimed "let Dr. Berman finish.  Please, please continue Doc" she told him as she shot Willow and Xander a look which said I am so gonna get you for that later.

"Maybe spending time with him will be good for both of you, Buffy" he told her.  "From what your friends say you've been neglecting him lately in favor of .shall we say." at this he raised an eyebrow "outside pursuits."  Schooling his features into a bland expression he continued "Do you love him, Buffy?"

"Yes, I love him very much, but." she lowered her head at this point, tears beginning to seep from her eyes "he told me that I needed to become more independent.  To stop running to him for every little thing.  He told me to grow up.  I've just been trying to do what he asked of me and now I'm the bad guy.  First I was bugging him, now I'm ignoring him.  I just can't win.  But that doesn't mean that I don't love him.  I do.  He's the most important person in my life."

"Well Buff, here's your chance to make things right with him" Xander told her.

"Xander's right Buffy.  We will help some while you sla.work, but the rest of the time you have to take care of him."   Suddenly a strange expression crossed her face " Oh my God, Xander was right about something" then she started to giggle.

"Very funny Will, ha ha" Xander told her.

"But." Buffy began.

"Good, it's settled then" the doctor said.  Rupert should be discharged by noon.  "Can you manage transportation?"

"Yes" Xander replied.

"Xander and I will go and get everything ready at Giles' flat. Xander can pick up Buffy and Giles at noon" Willow decided.

"We'll be waiting" Buffy told her.

* * *

When Buffy got back to Giles' room, she found him sitting up in bed.  He had a perturbed expression on his face.

"What's wrong, Giles?" she asked him.

"I wanted to be up and about, but I have no clothes."  He told her.

"Oh yeah.  You tried to fly in your boxers" she responded.

"I tried to fly?" He questioned.

"No.  My guess is that you were heading for the bathroom, lost your footing, and tried to count every step with your head."  She answered.

"But you don't know?  You were not with me?"  at the negative shake of her head he continued "Buffy, are we having problems?  Is that why I was drinking?   Is that why the doctor seems to feel that my amnesia is emotional?"

Buffy sat on the edge of the bed and took his hand.  Looking into his eyes she began "Giles, I-I really don't know what to tell you about us.  Our lives are so strange, major understatement here. You will just have to remember it for yourself."  Unable to hold his gaze, she looked down at their entwined finger and continued "as far as us having a problem, the answer is yes.  We've grown apart.  I-ah we don't really talk to each other anymore.  Hell, it's getting to the point that we don't even see each other that much, and when we do we hurt each other.  Willow and Xander blame me for that. Tuesday night, so did you."

Reaching out, Giles tried to lift her chin.  "Buffy, look at me, please."

Buffy slowly lifted her head.  Tears were streaming down her cheeks.  "Why?"

"Because I need to see your eyes when I ask you my next question." He answered her.  "Do you love me?"  He held his breath as she hesitated to answer.

She didn't know what to say.  She loved Riley.  At least she kinda, sorta loved Riley (in a lots of sex, little conversation kind of way).  Then there was Angel.  She still loved Angel, but that could never be and it didn't hurt as much anymore.  But Giles?  She decided to tell him the truth.  "Giles, I love you more than anyone, but I'm not in love with you.  You are the single most important person in my life.  You have the power to hurt me worse than anyone has ever hurt me, and I've been hurt a lot.  But I AM NOT in love with you."  Then she said so lowly that he almost didn't hear "I won't let myself."

Grimly, He bit back a moan as he was engulfed in waves of pain.  Feeling faint he released his breath.  Giles tried to speak, but nothing came out.  He swallowed several times, his adams apple bobbing.  Finally, he squeezed out, his voice husky with unshed tears "Why, why did you tell the doctor that you were my special friend.  Why didn't you just tell him that we were just friends."

"I did, but he wasn't going to let me see you." She blurted.

"Maybe that would have been for the best" he responded.  "You made me believe something that wasn't true."  Glaring at her he yelled "How could you do that Buffy?  How.Just go."

"But Xander is supposed to pick us up in a couple of hours" she told him.

"Then leave me be until he arrives" he ground out harshly.


"Get out" he shouted.

"Fine, but one last thing you ought to know" she whispered.  "You aren't in love with me either."  Then she left.

"That's where you're wrong, Buffy" he said aloud.  "I may not know anything else, but I know what I feel.  I know that I am in love with you."  Silently, he began to weep. Eventually, he fell asleep.

* * *

When Giles awoke, his memories were there.  They didn't return in bits and pieces.  There was no blinding flash of remembrance.  They were just there and they were as dismal and depressing as they had been on Tuesday.

"What a fool I've been.  What a great fool" he said aloud as he scrubbed his face with his hands.  "Even with your memory gone you should have known that Buffy wasn't in love with you old man."  Groaning to himself, he continued "and when she kissed you, she probably gagged.Wait a minute, she kissed me."  Wildly, his thoughts raced back to yesterday, he tried to remember exactly what she had said and done.  Suddenly, he began to grin.  Buffy had told him how much she needed him.  She had also admitted that she'd found him sexy.  His smile widened, she had also kissed him.  And what a kiss it had been.  No eieew's from her.  He did seem to remember a WOW.  She had definitely responded to him and that was encouraging.  "But Buffy doesn't love me"  he said to himself.  Then his heart started feeling lighter and he began to laugh out loud " No, she said she wouldn't let herself love me."

Giles was startled when the door burst open and Buffy ran in.  She looked like she had been crying.  Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy.

"I-uh I thought I heard laughter.  Is everything all right?" she asked him hesitantly.

"Yes, everything is fine.  I just got my memory back" he told her.

"Giles, that's wonderful.  How?" she asked.

"I don't know.  They were just there when I woke up" he answered.

"Oh Giles, I am so sorry for what I did.  I didn't mean to hurt you, to make you feel unneeded" she wailed.

"Come here, Buffy" He told her.

Reluctantly Buffy walked to the bed.  "Are you going to yell at me again?  I mean I know I deserved it, but."

Giles reached out and pulled her onto the bed facing him.  Placing a hand on her cheek, he said "Buffy, I love you.  I am in love with you."

"No Giles, you don't. I don't."

Pulling her into his arms before she could finish the sentence, he began kissing her.  Her mouth open in surprise, he slipped his tongue in.  Heat shot thru both their bodies.  Caressing her tongue with his, Giles slid his hands down Buffy's arms to her hands.  He placed her hands behind his head and returned his to her back.  All the while continuing to lick, nip and suck at her mouth.

Buffy moved her hands to his chest to push away from him, but he wouldn't let her.  She couldn't find the strength to make him let her go.   She was also having a hard time remembering why she should make him let her go.  He was arousing feelings in her that she had never felt before.  His kisses were so hot and wet.  She couldn't get enough.

Giles ran his hands down her back one last time before moving them around to caress her breasts.

Buffy pulled her lips from his to say " no, Giles, I can't.  I don't."

He interrupted her.  "Yes, you do.  You love me Buffy and I love you."  Then he began kissing her again.  Gently he nipped his way down her neck.  Upon reaching the edge of her tank top, he pulled back.  "Tell me you love me Buffy.  I need to hear you say it." He barely heard her when she began speaking.

She almost wept "Giles, I don't want to love you.  You can hurt me too much.   I don't want you to have that kind of power over me.  I-I feel too out of control when you touch me.  I can't."

"Say it Buffy" he commanded.

"I-ah I love you" she stammered.  "Oh God, I love you" she repeated in amazement.  "I love you Rupert Giles."  Then she wrapped her arms around him and began to kiss him with wild abandon.

Giles, his heart close to bursting, kissed her back.

Soon, all that could be heard in the room, was the moans of two people, deeply in love satisfying an ache that had been around almost four years.

Neither of them heard the door open and two people step inside.

"Oh my God I think I'm blind" Xander exclaimed.

"What the hell do you think your doing" Dr. Berman shouted.

Giles, a grin from ear to ear, told them "I'm getting to know my Special Friend."