By Gabriele Schulz
TITLE: My Destiny
AUTHOR: Gabriele Schulz
DISTRIBUTION: Everyone who has my general permission. Others please ask first.
SPOILERS: Fool for Love
FEEDBACK: Love it. Especially if you like the story ;-)
SUMMARY: Buffy and Giles talk after the events in "Fool for Love". B/G (sub-)text
DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television, the WB Television Network, and whoever else may have a hold on them. I do not mean to infringe upon any copyrights.
He unlocked the door and switched on the light.
He went straight to the research corner of the Magic Box to get the book he was looking for. Then he suddenly heard a noise coming from the training room.
He grabbed a sword and carefully opened the door.
Inside, Buffy was punishing an innocent punching bag. He watched her for a while frowning. Then he realized what the picture in front of him reminded him of. Buffy's return in the summer after the Master had killed her.
She spun around.
"God, Giles, do you wanna scare me to death?? Shouldn't you know better than to sneak up on a Slayer?"
Her brow was furrowed, but he knew that she wasn't really mad at him. And he was glad that she had immediately reacted, unlike that summer so long ago.
"Usually I couldn't sneak up on you, even if I tried to."
The furrow increased and her eyes narrowed. Then it was gone.
"I was..." She gestured at the punching bag.
"Deep in thought?"
She looked at the ground and didn't answer.
He took a few step towards her, when she suddenly looked at him, then at the sword that was still in his hand.
"Oh. I heard a noise and thought..." He put down the sword. "Well, you can't be too careful in Sunnydale, can you?"
He smiled at her, but she just nodded.
"Did you speak with Spike?"
Another nod. She kept her eyes on the ground.
"Did you find out what you wanted to?"
"I don't know."
She turned to the punching bag, hesitated for a second, then turned back to him and looked at him.
He encouraged her to go on without saying a word.
The frown was back. "Spike said... it wasn't their strength or technique or training, it was simply that they wanted to die."
Giles lifted his head a little.
"He said that sooner or later I'll give up too and then he will kill me."
He stepped closer to her.
"Buffy, you'll never want to die."
"Not now, no. Right now I have my friends and family."
"You'll always have them."
She lifted her head and looked him straight in the eye.
"My Mom has to go to the hospital again. It might be serious."
"Buffy, I'm sorry."
He lifted his hand and put it on her shoulder in that familiar gesture of comfort.
"I'm sure the doctors will do everything in their power to help her."
"Maybe their power won't be enough."
He removed his hand from her shoulder.
"Buffy, you mustn't think like that. Perhaps it is nothing at all or something that can easily be treated."
"But what if it isn't?"
"Buffy... we will always be there for you."
"Yes. And who is going to be next?"
"Please don't think like that. I don't know what Spike told you, but there i-"
"He told me the truth."
"That he will kill you?"
"I don't know. But that I will die. Sooner rather than later."
She looked at him with raised eyebrows.
"You will not give up. If that is what will kill you then you won't die any time soon. You are a fighter. You love life. Nothing will keep you from defying death as often as it takes to make him give up."
"Nothing except my destiny."
They looked at each other for a moment. Then he shook his head.
"It isn't your destiny to die. It is your destiny to destroy evil. To protect the innocent."
"And to die doing so."
They looked at each other again, expressing with eyes what they had difficulties to put into words.
"Giles, we both know the life-expectancy of Slayers. And we both know that you cannot fight your destiny. Responsibility and sacrifice, remember? Destiny comes with a lifetime guarantee."
"You were never one to follow the rules."
"Neither were you and still Ripper packed his leather jacket away and got into tweed. Giles, there is no need for pretending. Destiny made you a Watcher and it will kill me."
"Officially I'm fired."
She smiled shortly.
"Giles, you are my Watcher as surely as Wesley never was. The Council may believe that loving me is unsuitable, but I don't think destiny cares. You guide me, you train me, you make your watcher entries. You will always be my Watcher. Until that day. And then you will make your last entry in your Watcher's diary."
"No, I won't."
"You are right. It doesn't matter that Travers fired me. Working for the Council wasn't my destiny. I met my destiny four years ago." She looked at him. "I will never make that entry, because my destiny is not to be a Watcher. My destiny is to be *your* Watcher. The moment you die, I will no longer have a destiny. I will no longer be a Watcher and I won't make another entry in a Watcher's diary for the rest of my life."
She looked at him for a long moment then moved a little closer and put a hand on his arm.
"Destiny isn't always what we think it is," he said determined.
"No, it isn't. It's better."
They looked at each other for a second and then they were holding each other closely. Buffy's head was buried in his chest and he had his head on hers. It was a gesture of comfort and hope and above all love.
After a few minutes he pulled away enough to lift her head.
"I don't ever want to hear again that you will give up. Spike may be right that that is the only way to kill a Slayer. But if he hopes to get you like this he can wait a few decades."
She smiled at him and put her hand on the wrist of the hand that was still below her chin. She stroked him slightly then got serious, but there remained a spark in her eyes.
"A few decades at least. After all we wouldn't want you to lose your destiny."
Pain flickered in his eyes. He lifted her hand to his mouth to kiss it lightly.
"My destiny," he whispered against her hand.
She touched his cheek ever so tenderly and ran her fingers down a few inches before dropping her hand to her side.
They kept staring at each other for an eternity before he went to pick up the sword.
When he reached the door, he turned around to her.
"Don't stay up too late."
They looked at each other for another long moment.
Then he closed the door behind him leaving Buffy alone.