By Beth C.

Title:  Lucky (1/1)
Author: Beth C.
Rating: PG14
Feedback:  Please send some, I need to know if I'm doing this fanfic thing right. Plus I already have an idea for a sequal but I don't know if I should continue
Spoilers: Through "Beer Bad"
Disclaimer: I don't any of this stuff I'm writing about, Its all Joss and Fox
Distribution: Solo definitely, any other B/G sites or Shipper sites...Just ask me, I'll say yes
Summary:  DEATH OF A MAJOR CHARACTER!!! A tragedy throws Giles and Buffy together
Dedicated to: Solo and Kylie for beta-reading for me, being extremely supportive of the story, and helping through everything (definitely those last paragraphs)
NOTE: I'm looking for B/G mailing lists, send me info if you can

<<Dear Olivia,

    Weeks have gone by since her death and no one has yet adjusted. The bed next to Buffy's in the dorm goes empty, the magick shop closed her account, and everyone is trying to move on. In the end, something typical took Willow's life. A drunk driver hit Oz's van from the side. She was killed instantly. Oz is still in a coma, no one knows if he'll make it. At her funeral, I gave the eulogy since neither Buffy nor Xander could be consoled enough to speak clearly. Xander sat in the front pew, crying softly into his hands while Cordelia tried to comfort him. Buffy didn't come. She is almost wholly disconnected from us all. Xander says that she just goes from class to class, and afterwards to the bar at night drinking herself into a stupor.

    Mrs. Summers says Buffy hasn't changed anything about the dorm room since Willow left that night. Willow's books sit open on the desk and her mail lies on her bedside table. She persistently ignores the pleas of Willow's mom to come pick up her daughters things. I'm so worried, but I don't know how to approach her. I just wish she would talk to me about it. But after catching you running around in my shirt, I'm not sure what she thinks about me. Buffy acted so odd, like I'm not allowed to live a normal life. I sometimes think that her reaction to you was jealousy, but I doubt it. She doesn't feel the same way about me as I do about her. It kills me seeing her grieving, I just want to embrace her and tell her 'I'll love you'. But I can't do it, besides I don't want to risk losing her all together. If she would only come to me about it, things would be so much easier. Call me soon with news from the museum, I miss England so much but I think California may be growing on me.


    He put the pen down and walked towards his bed. "I'll mail it in the morning and then I need to remember to call the real estate agent about the store," he said, making a mental note for himself. He lied down and curled under the blankets and then looked towards the empty spot next to him. "If only she knew," he said softly before drifting off into a superficial slumber.

    But his sleep was cut short when a figure entered the room and lied down next to him. Startled, he jumped up and turned the lights on. Buffy lay on the sheets, her hair matted down from the rain that fell outside and her pajama's clinging to her shivering frame. She gasped for air, crying heavily. "Giles, please hold me," she said through the sobs. He knelt down next to her and she quickly grabbed him, holding tight. "Don't let go," she cried softly, "ever."

    "Never Buffy," he said stroking her hair, "I care about you too much for that." Soon her cries subsided, but she still wouldn't let go, hugging Giles tightly.

    "I was suppose to die first, not Willow," she said softly, "she didn't do anything, she didn't deserve this."

    "Don't ever say that," Giles said fiercely, "you don't deserve to die either."

    "Its my birthright its expected of me to die," she said pulling away, "Willow was suppose to marry Oz and live a long life. They were supposed to move to LA, and Oz was going to go solo and sell 2 billion records. He was gonna then quit the music business and they were going to move back here and Willow was going to open a medical practice. She was suppose to leave daisies on my grave each year, not the other way around."

    "No Buffy, you're expected to survive, not die," he tried to explain, "you're going to live a long life and marry some handsome man and have 20 children."

    "Why will I be one of the lucky ones?" Buffy said softly, "I don't deserve it."

    "Don't ever say that, you deserve the same things as everyone else," he said angrily, "You deserve the big house, the high paying job, and the long, long life."

    "Before I came here tonight, I went to the new school. It's almost exactly like the old one, even has a bell tower in the center. I climbed into that tower and just sat there for a long time. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, if I was going to jump or if I was going to go back to the real world and try again. After Willow died, I thought the only way I was going to survive was to go about with everything like nothing has changed." She was quite for a minute. "How come everyone I love leaves me or moves on?" she asked. "Willow, my father, Angel, even you Giles," she said looking into his eyes, "Even you have moved on, you don't even want to be my watcher anymore."

    "No Buffy, I will always be your watcher," he said looking lovingly at her, "I was assigned to be your watcher, I will always be your watcher."

    Buffy embraced him again, "Giles, do you love me?"

    He sighed loudly at the question,"Buffy, you know that I care greatly for you. That I'd give my life for you."

    "No, I mean do you 'love me'?" she asked again, looking longingly at him, "I've lost so many things in my life, I don't think I could go one more day without asking you how you feel."

    He released a shaky breath. "Buffy, everyday I spend with you I love you more and more," he confessed, "I-I didn't want to frighten you by saying anything." He trailed off a bit, confused at the look in her eyes. Love, understanding and desire were all elements that he saw fighting by her side. It was the desire that shocked him. He softly caressed her cheek lost in those beautiful green pools. Slowly he closed the gap between them and lightly brushed his lips against hers. Buffy held him close and returned the kiss fully.

    "Giles, I love you so much," she said, "this is the first time that I've stopped crying since I got the news that Willow was gone. Can you just hold me tonight?"

    "Of course," he said smiling. They both lay back and Buffy quickly fell asleep. He caressed her hair and watched over her as the night passed.