Letting it out
AUTHOR: Gabriele Schulz
DISTRIBUTION: The New Buffy/Giles Relationshippers, A Watcher's love. Others please ask first.
SUMMARY: Just a little piece about Giles' feelings for Buffy. B/G
DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television, the WB Television Network, and whoever else may have a hold on them. I do not mean to infringe upon any copyrights. (And this disclaimer is almost as long as the story.)
This happens when you (that is I) are in the middle of writing a B/G fanfic, go down to the kitchen to take a drink, switch on the radio and the next song is "You get what you give" by New Radicals. Enjoy :-)
She was happy. Not about being in the library, waiting for
Giles to find a certain passage in a book, he wanted to show her.
Nor about any other particular event. It was just that happiness
that needs no reason. She turned on the radio, not too loud, so
the "meaningless sounds" wouldn't disturb him.
Hey! One of her favorite songs! She smiled, feeling wonderful. She glanced over at his office, where Giles was sitting, his nose in a book. Well, that was what he was: book-man. She chuckled a little. The music was just great. She started moving to the rhythm, silently singing along. As the song went on, her movements became dancing and soon she whirled around in the library, not thinking, only feeling the happiness, that came from the moment.
Ah, there it was. He grabbed the book and stood up, walking towards the door, when he stopped in mid-motion. Was she dancing? It seemed so. He watched her motions, her body, her arms - and her face. Her eyes were closed and when she didn't sing along, she smiled and sometimes laughed for no apparent reason.
He sighed. It were these moments, that made him both condemn and relish his feelings. He had come to terms with loving her. He had learned to live with the fact that he could never show her his love and he had accepted that his love would never be reciprocated. He had taught himself to push the feelings aside in her presence. He had to, in order to not go mad around her, when she was so close (and most of the time so scantily dressed), when he could smell her intoxicating scent. But now as he watched her, his love for her was very present. So present in fact, that she would probably see it in his face, if she looked at him. But still he couldn't stop gazing at her. Her blond hair flew around her head, as she turned around and around. She was so beautiful. And he didn't mean her looks. Of course he was aware of her appearance, but what drew him to her was her inner beauty, her fire, her passion. She was both courageous and fragile, strong, yet tender, stubborn, but generous. And now she was happy and not afraid to live that moment of joy, letting it out.
And for only a short time he wanted to do the same. To let out the happiness, for loving her filled him with joy, no matter how hopeless his love was. At least it did, when he allowed it to, and now he did. He went a step further leaning against the frame of the door and letting the emotion run free in his mind, loving her so much that it almost brought tears to his eyes.
She turned around and opened her eyes. She saw him standing there, watching her and at the same time beyond her. She wondered, what he was thinking about, that made his gaze so... unreadable. She smiled at him, still dancing, and when he smiled back, she couldn't help laughing. She stopped dancing and after a second she went to switch off the radio. When she turned to him again, he was approaching her, the book in his hand and a smile playing on his face.
"What?" she asked.
"You can dance quite nicely."
They both chuckled before sitting down and discussing the text.
And although it's content was of a serious nature, they couldn't help smiling and even grinning, glancing at each other once in a while.