Is That A Challenge?
Disclaimer: As always, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all settings and characters therein contained are the sole property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, & everyone else except me. I don't own Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail, either. Not making any money, just having some fun.
Spoilers: Nope. Well, not for Buffy, anyway. Quest for the Holy Grail, however.
Summary: The gang's having downtime, & Buffy has a question.
Timeline: 4th season
Distribution: Solo. Anyone else just let me know.
Feedback: No flames. I mean, it's just not very nice:)
Author's notes: I did the Python bit from memory, so if it's not accurate, relax, let it go.
"He says he's not dead."
"Yes, he is."
"Well, he's very ill."
"I'm getting better."
"No you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment."
"I can't take 'im like that, it's against regulations."
"Aw, do us a favor."
"Well, can you wait around a bit? He won't be long."
"Naw, I've got to get down to the Robinson's. They've lost nine today."
"I think I'm going for a walk."
"You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look, isn't there anything you can do?"
"Man, that's my favorite part," Xander laughed.
"Yeah, 'cause old guy whumping just brings bright, shiny moments to your day," Buffy teased.
"Not just the old guy whumping, the whole scene," he returned, feigning affront. "It's the funniest scene in the whole movie."
"See, I like the witch test," Willow chimed in.
Xander rolled his eyes, "You would."
Willow chucked one of Giles' throw pillows at him.
"What about you, Buff?"
She thought about it for a second. "I guess the part where the knight with no arms or legs keeps trying to bite Arthur's kneecaps. I'm pretty sure I've fought a few vamps like that."
"The peasant farmer's political dissertation." The gang gave him blank looks. "You know, the one that ends with him shouting 'Help, I being oppressed.'"
"Oh!" they chorused, laughing.
They watched quietly for all of three seconds before bursting out laughing at the movie again. Then Xander and Giles started quoting along perfectly, and Willow and Buffy simply rolled.
"Careful, Watcher Man," Buffy said when she could breathe.
"Keep that up and pretty soon you might loosen up. Then you'll start relaxing, having fun."
"Can't have that, can we?" he smirked.
"Next thing you know, you'll be sitting around in your underwear drinking beer and watching football, scratching your."
"Hey!" Xander interrupted. "Fast approaching a scary visual place."
"What?" Buffy asked, all innocence. "I was gonna say stomach. Geez, get your mind out of the gutter, Xand."
"Right, Buff, I believe you."
Buffy looked speculatively at Giles. "So, do you?"
"What?" he asked, chuckling at something on the screen.
"Do you ever get the urge to sit around in your underwear drinking beer and watching football?"
Giles rose and headed for the kitchen. "American football, or soccer?" he tossed over his shoulder. Intrigued by his lack of embarrassment, Buffy rose to follow.
"I don't get it," Anya complained, "what's the point to this?"
"It's Python, Anya. The point is: there is no point. It's absurd, that's why it's funny," Xander attempted to explain.
"Well, I don't think it's funny."
"Give yourself another decade or so of being human," Willow said, patting Anya on the shoulder. "It'll be much funnier then, I promise."
Shaking her head, Buffy went on into the kitchen, where Giles was making tea.
"You know, you never answered my question."
"Which question was that?"
"Oh, that one." Silence.
--He's enjoying this way too much, she thought.
"Well?" He flashed her an almost Ripper-esque grin that made her tingle in entirely new places. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Fine, don't tell me." Suddenly, she started giggling.
"What now?" he asked.
"I was trying to picture you doing that, but it's difficult."
"Why, because you keep picturing me in tweed instead?"
"No, because there's something I don't know about you."
"What's that?" he asked, his curiosity piqued.
She grinned saucily. "Boxers or briefs?"
Instead of blushing and stammering like she expected, Giles picked up his teacup, moved slowly over to her, and leaned in. Placing his lips against her ear, he whispered, "That's for me to know." He deliberately left the sentence hanging, moving to leave the kitchen.
By the time Buffy recovered from the shock his response caused, he was almost out of the room. She decided she wasn't to be outdone.
"Oh, Giles," she called sweetly. He turned around, one eyebrow quirked. She smiled impishly. "Is that a challenge?"