Heart to Heart Conversation
By Cap

Title: Heart to Heart Conversation.
Author: Cap
Distribution: You want it, It's yours
Disclaimer: Joss owns everything, Don't sue
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Grad 1&2
Feedback: Yes

Note: A couple of things before I start. <Buffy> Denotes Buffy's thoughts <Buffy> Denotes Buffy's heart. Two, I am really behind on my Email. I try to answer everyone who Emails me, but I average about 75 a day. I give priority where I can and try to get to those others when I get time. Don't stop sending, just be patient on my reply. Also go read Janine Ose's, Gabi's, and Lily2332's new story's. They posted to me yesterday, and I never found the time to reply. (I know, I'm an insensitive bastard.) All five story's are really great, and you should of already read them and sent wonderful feedback to them. If you haven't, go do it. (You can finish this one first though.)

Giles stood at the door exhausted. He walked into his apartment forgetting to shut the door behind him as he fell on the couch. He thought about getting a drink. Maybe going to a local bar and seeing if he could find a companion for the night. Maybe he could get his razor and slit his bloody throat. He knew he couldn't do any of them. He had her. That was his saving grace and his damnation. He couldn't sleep. He took a book from the coffee table. He researched for three minutes before he noticed it was the local phone book. He slumped in his chair.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to notice." He turned at the soft voice. She stood there in the doorway back lit by the porch light that had been left on for the last eight weeks. Her dress was blue. How utterly fitting he thought.

"I might have been looking for a phone number." He said in his defense. She walked over to him. "Uh-huh, or you might be completely wiped. What is so important that you have to research it right now." She stood there staring at him. He was tired, so damn tired. He wasn't going to play this game tonight. "Go away, Buffy. I am not fit company tonight." He pushed himself up from the couch walking to the kitchen.

Buffy was stunned. Giles, her Giles had just told her to get out. "What!" He ignored her. Oh, that's it! She was going to have it out with him. What ever was wrong had to be bad if he was telling her to go away. "Hello! Giles, it's Buffy. You know, your slayer. Whom you've never kicked out of your house before."

"First time for everything" He said as he grabbed a cup for his tea. She sat down on the couch watching as he sat in his chair with his tea. Since when did Giles not offer her any. Since he started telling her to go, she should have guessed that one. "Well, how long are we going to sit here and see who is the most stubborn, because I can tell you right now it's me." He looked at her. "Did it ever occur to you that a simple needle, pint bag, and and some other equipment in my office would have cured Angel without you almost dying." She stared at him. "Huh?" He sighed. "Buffy, none of you even consulted me when you found out what the cure for Angel was. He didn't need to take all your blood. I could have easily taken a pint of your blood and put into a blood bag for him. A cookie and a nap later you would have been fine. Instead you almost died of near fatal blood loss."

She stared at him. "I thought if I told you...." She looked very uncomfortable. She glanced around the room trying to focus on anything but his stare. "I guess I'll get going." She said as she walked to the door. His soft voice stopped her in her tracks. "I thought you weren't going to run anymore Buffy."

She didn't turn, but stood there facing out the door as she answered him. "I didn't want to tell you, cause you were the only one who could stop me." She heard him grunt a reply behind her. She turned looking at him sitting in the shadows. "Is that why you were acting the way you were at the meeting. When we were trying to figure out how to stop the mayor." He looked away. "What about you! What about that stunt you pulled with that sword. Giles he could have killed you!" He sat there quietly his hands coming up. He pressed his fingers together just staring at her with that look that made it clear the matter was closed. Not this time. She wasn't about to let it drop. "Giles, why did you do it. How could you just shove a sword into his chest when you knew it wouldn't do any good? What if he had decided to return the favor?" The last part came out weakly.

"He threatened someone I love, I reacted out of instinct and rage." He said calmly to her. She felt like he had just slapped her in the head with a brick. "Did...did you...just say love?" He looked at her. For a second she thought he was about to laugh. "You are not a child Buffy. I am not about to coddle you like one. Yes I said love, and by the way before you say it I would like to remind you that I'm not your father, and don't have any desire to be a father to you."

She stood there in total shock. She couldn't think of anything to say. She just stood looking at him. He stood up and walked over to her. "I'm not going to insult you by treating you like a child Buffy." He stood waiting for her to say something. "What do you want from me?" She said so quiet that he wouldn't have heard it if he had been sitting in his chair at the time. "Nothing." She still just looked at him. Still in shock. "Then why tell me this?" He smiled. "Because it's the truth." She didn't know what to say. "No, it's not. Giles you’re just tired. You don't know what you’re saying." He looked at her in amusement. Then a hand snaked around her waist pulling her off balance. His lips met hers. She was shocked opening her mouth to protest. Instead she found his tongue. She had never been kissed like this. She had been kissed by lots of boys, but they had kissed like boys. This was something different. Even Angel had kissed like them, maybe Willow was right. Angel had never really grown up.

Her arms came up and around his neck. She wasn't even aware of her feet dangling off the ground. One leg came up curling around the back of his thigh. She could feel a slow liquid heat flow through her. She was so warm. She felt like fire. She only just now noticed that she had been returning the kiss. She hadn't even been aware that her eyes were closed till he placed her back on the ground. Braking the kiss he looked down at her just standing there panting looking at him like a deer stuck in the high beams.

"Well, I would defiantly say there was a spark" He said. <Spark! Spark! That was one hell of a spark!>< Must of come off of that lightning bolt that just hit me.> She thought. She turned running from the room. He stared after her as she sprinted into the night. "My poor Buffy, when will you stop running and finally grow up that last little bit." He closed his door heading to the stairs and bed. Halfway up he paused looking out the window. He could just make out the figure of a confused slayer leaning on a street lamp across the street. "Please hurry."

Buffy leaned on the lamppost in a panic. Giles had just kissed her. She had just kissed Giles. She had just had the most intense kiss of her life and Angel was miles away at the time. This didn't make sense. She looked around trying to get her bearings. She was back in front of his house. <Why am I here.> <You want more> <I'm not ready.> She closed her eye's. Running the events through her mind. What happened? It was magic. <You can say that again. > <Shut up> She was pretty sure it wasn't a spell though, so it wasn't magic. Maybe she was missing Angel. <Angel who? Get the tall britt to kiss me again. > <I said shut up! > She couldn't believe she was sitting here having mental arguments with herself about kissing Giles. That's when she noticed she was sitting on the couch in Giles apartment. <How did I get here? > <You have a key, duh. > <I know! What I meant was why am I back here. > <I told you. You want more. > <I'm not ready! > She got up to go. She stopped at the door. She turned around made a cup of tea, and sat on the couch folding her legs under her. <You are ready now, you know. This isn't the first time we've had this discussion. > <I know, but this is the first time I ever seemed to be on the losing side of it. > <We need to move on. > <How do you know what I need to do!? > <I'm you, remember. > <Oh yeah, right. This can't be healthy can it. > <Could be worse. You could be talking to yourself. > "That's true." Buffy said nodding her head.

"Buffy, Who are you talking to?" Giles said looking at her from the bottom of the stairs. He was in just a pair of boxers and his voice was thick from sleep. <Yum. > <Shut up> <Great legs. > <He's mine! > <Exactly> <Oh, forgot who I was talking to. > "I was just talking to myself."

He nodded. "Well, why are you here?" <Drop the boxers and I'll show you. > <What! > <Hey, tell me you weren't checking out the bulge.> Buffy's eye's flick downward. <Gulp> <I'll just put the inner child to bed, and we can have some fun> <Ohmygodohmygod! > <Whoa! Breath girl. I was teasing. This is Giles, not going to do anything we don't let him do. > <Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! > "Buffy?" He followed her gaze down. Then blushed. "Excuse me. I I I I'll just go put something on." He went up stairs. <Nice job on the subtle there Buffy. He wasn't too embarrassed. Why didn't you just pull out a ruler? > <Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!> <Calm girl. The penis has left the building. You can stop spazing. > <It was...and he....it....you could see.....and then....it...it....> <Okay, your making no sense what so ever.>

She plopped back down on the couch. <I love him.> <You knew that already.> <I know, but I never felt that much desire before, not anything ever compared to when he kissed me, and if you knew what I was thinking when I saw his...> <I do know what you were thinking. I'm your heart. > <I know, It's just I never wanted like this before. > <You weren't ready. > <I am now? > <To want, yes. Everything else is up to you. > <Then why did you bring me back here? > <I didn't. You did. >

Giles came down again. He was dressed in pajamas and his robe. He also had his Glasses now. She tried to see him as just Giles, it didn't work. The veil had been lifted and she now knew what her heart had known all along. Giles was a man, her man. Her watcher. Her friend. Her mentor. Her lover? What was one more thing on the list.

"Will you kiss me again?" She finally said. "If you want me too." She smiled taking his hand and pulling him down on the couch beside her. "Can I stay the night here?" It came out a little uncertainly. Giles smile softened. "Buffy, you don't have to rush anything." She smiled at him. "I know, I just thought we could talk, and kiss, and just see what happens." His smile brightens as he runs a hand gently down her cheek leaning in he says "Okay" before kissing her. <Your heart always wins in the end. > <Can't talk, kissing. >