A Few Too Many Revelations
Name: A Few Too Many Revelations
Spoilers: Season 4
Disclaimer: Not mine, Buffy and company belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy and the WB.
Rating: NC 17
Summary: Buffy discovers her true feelings for Giles, tells him then everything goes to hell.
Buffy was irritable.
There was something on the edge of her conscienceness, but she couldnít quite reach it. She was worried about Giles, but there was more to it than that. He had been injured before and it had never bothered her as it had last night. She had helped him many times when he had been hurt patrolling and had even seen him with more serious wounds. Then why... was this time....different?
It was not like Giles not to be home this early in the morning, had he gone to the hospital and not called her? She had not felt this worried when Riley had been stabbed by Adam, she knew he would be taken care of, she had worried, but not like this... She was almost in a panic when she hadnít found him at home. She had waited for over an hour before heading back to the dorm.
Did she care more for Giles...than Riley?...Could it be possible?....Am I in love..........with Giles?
Was it true, she had always cared for him,....but never in that way. Giles was always there when she needed him, her teacher, her Watcher, her support, he had been everything and anything she needed whenever there was a need. He had been there, a rock that she could always lean on, no matter what she did, no matter how she might hurt him, he always forgave her, never letting anything affect their friendship. There had been times, plenty of them, when she had not been an easy person to be around, and she knew how hard it had been for Giles when she ran away, for him to be around Angel after he had returned. Yet, Giles had comforted her when Angel had left Sunnydale for good. Angelus had killed Jenny and tortured Giles unmercifully, but because of her, he had over come his feelings and had accepted Angel. Why ?
Why did he accept Angel back? Buffy thought about everything that had happened to her over the past four years, since she had met her new watcher. As she looked back she realized how much Giles had come to mean to her. She had accepted that he would always be there for her when she needed him. She had come to expect, and had taken it for granted, that he would always be there.
She realized that the change had come after graduation, when he held her after Angel had left. She recalled something that Giles had said to her as he held her in his arms as she cried. At the time, she was in so much pain and could only think that Giles was speaking as a friend. She now realized that he had held her as a lover, not as a friend. Softly he told her, "I love you Buffy, and I always will, remember that. I will be here for you, no matter what."
Giles loves me!!!
This revelation stunned her. But, she wasnít shocked, she only wondered why she had not seen it sooner.
Buffy was overcome with the feelings of love. As she thought back she could see the evidence of it. She felt so warm, so loved. She was overcome with emotion and feelings she had never experienced! Not with Riley! Not with Angel!! What she had felt for Angel and Riley were nothing compared with what she was feeling at this moment....for Giles. The pain she had experienced when she didnít find Giles at home was deeper than what she had felt when Angel left her. If anything had happened to him before she could tell him.....
"Hi Buffy," Willow called to her as she entered their dorm room. Willow took one look at her friend and asked "Whatís wrong? Has something happened to Giles?"
"I donít know. He wasnít at home so I came back here. Willow, I have been thinking about him since I left him last night.. I know that heís been hurt worse in the past, but last night, he could have been killed. I never really thought of losing Giles before.....
"This sounds serious. But I thought you said that he was just bummed up and would be alright?
"Yeah, but it was so close, ...Willow" Buffy turned to look at her best friend with tears in her eyes, "Iíve never felt this way before. I think... I love Giles."
"Of course you love Giles. Oh. OH! You mean LOVE as in ..."
"As in I want to be with him, I donít want anything to happen to him. Willow, how could I have been so blind? He has been here all the time."
"What about Riley?"
"I thought I loved Riley, but the feelings I have for Giles ....donít compare. What I feel for Riley, even what I felt for Angel are nothing compared to what Iím feeling for Giles. Willow, Giles is my life, if anything happens to him I think I would die," she told her friend, the truth finally dawning on her.
"Buffy, do you think he feels the same?" Willow asked hesitantly not wanting her friend to be hurt.
"Iím scared he may not, but Will, when I look in my heart, in my soul, I remember the many different ways he has told me ever since Iíve known him. After Angel left Giles was comforting me. Will, I didnít notice at the time, but he held me as a lover and told me he loved me and always would." She looked at her friend with tears rolling down her cheeks.
Willow looked at her friend, and everything came together. She always thought that Giles had deeper feelings for Buffy than he let show. Now she was positive. "Buffy, you have to tell him."
"What if I make a fool of myself? What if he thinks I just have a silly schoolgirl crush on my teacher?
"He told you he loved you and always would?" Willow went and sat by her friend and held her. "IĎve always thought Giles felt you were special, more than just his slayer." As Willow comforted Buffy, there was a knock on the door and Riley came in.
"Buffy I came by to see if you wanted to..." Riley stopped when he saw the tears in Buffyís eyes. He immediately went to her. "Buffy, whatís wrong?"
Buffy looked at Riley and knew she had to tell him, knew that she had to go to Giles and let him know how she felt. Even if Giles rejected her, she could never be happy with Riley, not after she had experienced the feelings she was having for Giles. "Will, can you leave us alone?"
"Well, I can if you think youíll be ok." She told Buffy hesitantly. As Buffy nodded her head, Willow told her "Iíll just be down the hall if you need me."
"Will, thanks, Iíll be ok. I need to talk to Riley before I go see Giles."
Willow saw in Buffyís eyes that she had made her decision. She had always admired the way she could make decisions so quickly. <It must be a slayer thing> she said to herself as she closed the door behind her, leaving Buffy and Riley alone.
As Willow left, Riley sat down beside Buffy placing his arm around her, drawing her near when she suddenly stood up shaking off his arm.
"Buffy, whatís wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked with concern.
Looking at him with sadness plainly showing in her face she said, "Riley, I donít know the best way to say this, so Iíll just say it. I canít be with you any more, I love someone else."
"Someone else?" he asked unbelievingly.
"Yes" Buffy told him as she felt the truth and drew strength from it.
"Well this is sudden!" Riley told her as a light bulb went off in his head. "Angel, Iíve heard a little about him, is he back ?"
"No, and even if he were, it could never work out."
"Why? Didnít he know youíre the Slayer?"
"Angel knew I was the Slayer, he even went on patrol with me on numerous occasions. But we can never be together again, itís too dangerous."
"Dangerous?" Riley asked with a very puzzled look on his face.
"Yes, have you heard of Angelus?"
"The vampire that killed that teacher and tortured Mr. Giles?"
"Yeah,... Angel and Angelus are the same."
"You were in love with a vampire?" Riley asked her with disbelief.
"Angelus was cursed by a gypsy tribe after he murdered one of them, a young girl. His soul was given back to him and he became Angel. He agonized over the lives he had taken as Angelus and tried to redeem himself by destroying other vampires. The curse was such that when Angel experienced a moment of "pure happiness" he would again lose his soul and become Angelus."
"Yeah. The first and only time we ever made love, he became Angelus. Riley, do you have any idea what it would be like to know if you didnít kill the person you loved most in the world, he would kill you and your friends?" Buffy asked him as the tears again started falling.
"You slept with a vampire? How could you do that?" Riley was hurt he couldnít believe what she had told him. Then he remembered. "If not Angel, who? Not Xander!"
"No, Xander is a friend, a very dear friend. Youíll probably find this hard to believe but I realized this morning that I love Giles." She told him looking in his eyes not quite sure how he was going to take this.
"Giles? That old man yaíll hang around with? Buffy, heís old enough to be your father!"
"That old man, as you call him was killing vampires and demons before you were born!" anger creeping into her voice. "He is my Watcher, no matter what the Counsel says, my teacher. He has been there whenever I needed him. He always accepted me, no matter what I did, and I know I have hurt him many times, I just hope Iím not too late."
"Heís a dirty old man whoís taking advantage of you, donít listen to him!"
"Riley, he has never, never made any kind of advances, sexual or otherwise toward me," she told him the anger in her voice very plain.
"Then why?" He asked in total disbelief.
"This morning I finally saw what has been right in front of me. I love him and I believe he feels the same. But, even if he doesnít, I know that I donít love you like that. What I feel for Giles is so much more than I have felt for you, more than I felt for Angel."
Riley, seeing the love in her eyes light up for another man, knew he was history, but he found it hard to give up.
"But I love you."
"Riley, I love you, too but not like I love Giles. We can only be friends, I canít be your lover anymore. Iím sorry."
Riley looked at her, knowing that what they had was over, really over. He looked one last time into the eyes of the woman he had come to love. He passed Willow and Xander as he left the room.
"Yow, whatís wrong with him? He looks like he just lost his best friend."
"Something like that," Willow told him before turning to Buffy and asking "Did you tell him?"
"Yes, I did. That was hard, Will. Now I have to tell Giles. I have faced vampires, demons, you name it and Iíve probably kicked itís ass, but this is like nothing Iíve ever done before."
"What is going on?" Xander asked the two roommates.
"Xander, Willow will fill you in, I need to go talk to Giles. Will, wish me luck?" She told her friend as she left the room.
Xander looked at Willow, complete puzzlement on his face. "Did I miss something, you said that Giles got pretty banged up last night, but I have never seen Buffy like this. Is he ok?"
"Xander, Giles is fine. I called him before you got here. Buffy has realized that she loves him and just broke off with Riley."
Xander looked at Willow, amazement clear on his face. "Giles and Buffy?"
"Giles and Buffy." Willow verified.
End Part One