EEEEEEW!
By Maura I. Kelly

TITLE: EEEEEEW!
AUTHOR: Maura I. Kelly
EMAIL: IcyKnights@aol.com
RATING: PG
PAIRING: B/G
SPOILERS: Out of My Mind
FEEDBACK: Any time
SUMMARY: In answer to some disturbing scenes in last week's episode. Character death
NOTES: Just a silly fic really. Came about from everyone's comments regarding Spike dreams. First draft, hasn't been betad, so please be kind.
DISCLAIMER: These wonderful characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television, the WB Television Network, we don't mean to no infringe on any copyrights.


Giles walked into the front part of his new Magic shop looking perplexed and concerned.

Willow who was seated at one of the tables sorting out books with Tara's help, noticed his expression. "What's wrong Giles?"

"That was Buffy's Mother on the phone. Buffy didn't come home last night."

"What's the big deal G-man, she probably stayed at Riley's place." Xander commented from his position on the floor where he and Anya were busy varnishing a book case.

"No, I don't think she would have gone over there." Giles told him abstractedly. "And don't call me that."

Willow looked at Xander pointedly. "Besides Xander you know she and Riley have been kinda on the outs ever since he had that surgery, to make him better."

"Oh right, I forgot."

"And who would have expected soldier boy, now that he is normal, to be unable to handle Buffy being stronger then him, typical male." Anya smirked. "Just the type I loved to curse."

Giles, ignoring the by-play as usual, continued. " I talked to Buffy last night when she finished patrolling and she had planned to go home."

"Then something musta happen after she talked to you last night Giles."

"I am afraid you're right Willow, we need to find her. We'll split up. Willow if you and Tara would check the cemeteries in the south part of town, and Xander if you and Anya take the north, I'll work my way through the ones in the middle of town.
Everyone agreed to the Watcher's plan. Leaving the store quickly they all headed in opposite directions, to look for their missing friend.
 

When Giles reached the largest cemetery in Sunnydale, he headed to one of the spots he knew was a favorite of Buffy's. A place, she had told him once when they had been patrolling together, where she would sit and contemplate the world. Giles chuckled silently to himself realizing how odd that might sound to most people. Siting on a tombstone and whiling away the time, wasn't something most normal people would do. But then again when had they ever been normal.

Looking around Giles realized he was close to Spike's crypt. Having a sudden sense of disquiet, he found his way cautiously to the entrance. He wasn't sure why he thought Spike might be involved in Buffy's disappearance, but knowing how dangerous this particular vampire could be, chip or no chip, anything was possible.

He cautiously let himself into the crypt as quietly as he could, being that it was a mausoleum and the heavy doors had a tendency to squeak, it wasn't as silently as he would have liked.

Looking around the dusty place he noticed the few possessions that belonged to the resident vampire of this specific crypt, but the dweller was nowhere to be seen. Coming in further to the area, Giles spied something that looked familiar. Going over to the corner of the room he picked the article up realizing it was the jacket Buffy had been wearing last night. Hearing a slight noise behind him, but pretending to be unaware of it, he waited until he felt the timing was right and turned quickly around his fist connecting solidly with a jaw and he watched in satisfaction as Spike hit the floor from the punch.

"What'd you do that for?" Spike growled.

Giles held up Buffy's jacket. "Where is she? "

Spike shrugged nonchalantly. "Haven't a clue."

Giles grabbed the vampire up from the floor and slammed him against the nearest wall. "That's not the answer I want, Spike. Where is she?"

"Oh, like's it my fault you misplaced your Slayer, Watcher?'

"Don't push me, Spike." Giles warned. "You know what I can be like when I'm really angry."

Spike nodded miserably realizing he couldn't win this battle and hoping for a later payback, gestured to a door in the corner.

Giles kept his hold on the vampire and opened the door Spike had pointed out. He threw the demon through the connecting door and watched him thud satisfactorily against the crypt in the middle of the room. He then caught sight of Buffy chained against the far wall. She looked angry, her clothes were disheveled and he could see a few bruises on her face but other wise she seemed to be in one piece.

"Spike the key?" Giles told the still prone vampire pointedly but looking over at his Slayer.

"How did he catch you?"

"He had help from Harmony." Buffy told him ruefully. "While I was talking to Spike here, she hit me over the head with something, the next thing I knew I woke up in here with the chains on."

"He didn't hurt you?" Giles asked his Slayer concerned.

He heard Spike sniff. "Oh right , you know I can't hurt anyone."

Buffy glared down angrily at the vampire. "Hurt me, he did worse then hurt me, he kissed me."

Giles looked bewildered. "He kissed you?"

"Yup, he kept kissing me and nuzzling me. I guess since he can't kill me or attack me he decided to love me to death or maybe just make me really nauseated from the thought of even being near him. I guess he figured kissing me sick would be enough. Eeeeew and it still makes me ill just thinking about it." Buffy told her Watcher, still looking quite upset from the thought of what she had endured the last few hours. " I mean Harmony was soo disgusted she left about an hour ago."

"Always was a slow learner" Spike commented sarcastically. "Most women woulda gotten the hint hours ago, that she was no longer wanted."

Giles was standing there stilling trying to puzzle out the strange actions of the vampire. "He kissed you? Why would he kiss you?"

"Because he thinks he loves me."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, that's what I said, he keeps having these dreams, where we kiss and make out and oh gosh I'm getting sick again just thinking about it all."

"Don't think about it."

"Okay, okay I'm trying, but he's still standing there right in front of me it's kinda hard not to think about it. It's been torture these last few hours." Buffy looked up at her Watcher with a doleful expression on her face. "You're just going to have to stake him for me."

"What!" Spike yelped in consternation jumping to his feet. "Over a few little kisses?"

Buffy ignored the outraged vampire and continued to look at her Watcher.

Giles looked thoughtfully at Buffy for a moment, then looked over at the vampire in distaste. "Saying he's in love with you, kissing you and nuzzling you. You know it's making me unwell just thinking about that horrible image too. Besides," Giles sighed "We have been through the vampire thing already."

"Been there, done that?" Buffy commented philosophically.

"Precisely!" It didn't take long for Giles to come to a decision. " I certainly consider what Spike did to you to be torture of the most heinous kind. You are quite right Buffy , staking him is the only alternative."

Giles immediately put actions to words and unheeding of Spike's vociferous protests staked the vampire through the heart. Immediately disintegrating Spike was no more. Giles bent down and retrieved the keys to the shackles holding Buffy. Turning around he was surprised to see that Buffy had already pulled the chains out of the wall and was pulling off the cuffs.

"I see you don't need the key."

"Nope, I got it?' The Slayer said easily divesting herself of the shackles.

"Buffy why didn't you just do that earlier?"

"I was working on it and then you came along, which of course I knew you would, because you're always looking out for me and because I'm the Slayer."

Giles quirked a smile. " I'm aware of that fact, but that still doesn't answer my question?"

"Well, I really needed you to come along and terminate Spike for me." Buffy smiled gleefully. "Which I knew you would, so all's well, that ends well. Hey I quoted Shakespeare."

"Buffy." Giles growled dangerously.

"Okay, I'm the Slayer right?"

"We have already established that."

"Right, sorry." She said looking embarrassed at repeating herself. "And I'm not suppose to do badness, only goodness right."

"Yes…"

"So I really couldn't kill Spike when he can't defend himself it wouldn't be well, you know...what it is it you Brits say?"

"It wouldn't be cricket?"

"Yup that's it, it wouldn't be cricket."

"Oh I see, it's all right if I do it?"

"Well, yeah, you're my Watcher, your here to protect me and boy did I need protection, I mean did you really want that vampire slobbering all over me."

"Ah, noo..."

"And he really is getting to be a real pest."

Giles concurred. "A dangerous pest."

"Exactly and the fact that he turned us all against each other recently just proves he is a danger and would have been, especially when and if he got that chip out, a very real hazard in the future, to us all. I mean we have been uber nice, not staking him and all, and he still caused us lots of trouble."

"Yes, I totally agree with your assessment of the situation." Giles smiled fondly at Buffy's rapid fire delivery of her arguments.

"So now he's no danger to anyone anymore." Buffy crowed triumphantly "My hero!"

"Of course" Giles agreed affably "Shall we go?"

"Lets." Buffy responded wholeheartedly as they walked out of the crypt and into the sunlight.

 
END