Don't Cry
By Beth C.

Title: Don't Cry (1/1)
Author: Beth C.
Rating: PG14
Feedback:  Please send some, I need to know if I'm doing this fanfic thing right
Spoilers: Really none except "Prophecy Girl"s
Disclaimer: I don't any of this stuff I'm writing about, Its all Joss and Fox
Distribution: Solo definitely, any other sites...Just ask me, I'll say yes
Summary:  DEATH OF MORE THAN ONE MAJOR CHARACTER!!! A note left for the remaining slayerettes answering unanswered questions
Dedicated to: Solo and Cap for beta-reading for me, being extremely supportive of the story, and helping through everything
NOTE: I'm looking for B/G mailing lists, send me info if you can.

    "Oh god, he did it," Xander said frightened as he sprinted towards the apartment complex. Police cars lined the block and an ambulance stood open at the entrance. Xander watched as the coroners led a black body bag out. <Its not him, it can't be> he thought but his fears were confirmed as he watched Oz lead Willow down the street. Oz's face was streaked with tears and Willow leaned against his shoulder sobbing heavily. The truth hit Xander hard and he fell to the ground, crying into his hands. The couple walked over to him and sat next to Xander, everyone comforting each other.
    Oz pulled away from them. "He called all of us over, so we'd find him," he tried explain,"he left a note, I guess to explain everything."
    Xander shakily took the letter from Oz's hand and began to read.

<<Dear Oz, Xander, and Willow,
    When a child loses their parents they are referred to as an orphan. When a person loses their spouse they are a widow. There is no name for a watcher whose slayer dies just like there is no name for a parent who loses a child. But unlike the parent, the watcher expects their slayer to die first. That is why watchers are not supposed to form an emotional bond with their slayer. When the girl dies, they are supposed to move on to the next... no mourning, no grief.
    That was my mistake, loving Buffy, first as a daughter then as a woman. The relationship changed for me when it was prophesied that she would die at the hands of the master. I couldn't imagine my life without her; I knew that if she died, I couldn't go on. After she did die and was brought back, every single second of my day was spent thinking about her. I woke up, anxiously awaiting her arrival into the library and I went to bed, praying for her safety and for her to one day feel about me the same way I felt about her
     But I never spoke of it. Instead I tried to ignore my love for Buffy. I'd date others and act indifferent when she came to me. I tried my damnedest to forget but it didn't work. I was so sure that when the time was right she would confess that she loved me like I loved her. We'd marry, have children, and live a normal happy life together. But night after night nothing happened, we went about things like always. She didn't confess her love until she lay dying.
    It was just a typical demon, if you can really call a demon typical. She thought she had vanquished it when she stabbed him with the her sword. But before the demon died, he slashed at her chest. They hit the ground together and I ran to her. I cradled her in my arms as she bled to death. I tried my hardest to comfort her in her last moments and before she took her final breath she told me what I had waited to hear "I love you Giles, I always loved you," she whispered softly, struggling to stay awake,"I had waited all this time to tell you this thinking that I would be alive forever. I thought we'd be together forever. Do you feel the same way?"
    I stared down at her little body, covered in blood. Her face, a deathly pallor, and her frame shivering. "I always loved you, I also thought we'd have forever together," I said crying,"please forgive me for not telling you sooner."
    "Of course I forgive you," she whispered,"Giles, I'm so scared, It hurts so bad."
    "I'm with you Buffy, I'm here," I cried.
    Looking up at me, a small smile playing on her features, she breathed in one last time and was gone. I stayed there, rocking her body, crying heavily. When she died, I died with her. That is why there is no name for a parent who loses a child or for the watcher who loses a slayer, because when that person closest to you passes away, you die also. There is no life without love, that's why I'm going to do this. I thought when people said that they couldn't go on that they were exaggerating. But as I sit here with the gun in my hand, I know how true it is, I can't go on without her in my life. I just wrote this to you all so hopefully you would understand why.
    Just remember that I love all three of you like you were my children and you couldn't of stopped me even if you tried. I was assigned to watch Buffy and I will do so forever. Don't cry for me, be happy that now I'm going to be with the woman I love.

Take care of each other,

    They all sat in silence for awhile, the squeal of the ambulence's siren filling the night. "Since I was little, my dad has been a heavy drinker and when he'd drink he would get violent," Xander said softly,"none of you knew this but Giles was willing to take me in when we had fights. He would comfort me when I'd cry and listen to me talk all night. I owe him so much." He paused shortly, trying to regain his composure, "Giles had no right to do this, to abandon us." His face turned angry for a second before his expression turned sad and tears began to run down his cheeks. "How dare he give up like that, how dare he," Xander cried softly.
    Willow pulled slowly away from Oz."I'm gonna miss him so much," she said, her voice barely audible. Her little body began to heave with sobs as she embraced Oz again.
    Oz pulled her close as she began to cry, stroking her hair, attempting to calm her, "I will too, but at least... I think they're happy."