Confessions of the Heart
TITLE- Confessions of the Heart
EMAIL ADDRESS- renzach@Hotmail.com
SPOILER WARNING- Flooded
DISCLAIMER- I own nothing except the insane rantings in my head that will not cease.
SUMMARY- Set at the end of flooded, the way I would have like it to turn out.
FEEDBACK- It's not just requested but practically required :)
She had to lean on the wall as she placed the phone back onto the receiver. Of course Angel would call her, how could she think otherwise. She didn't want to see him but knew that she owed him this one last meeting, maybe help him find some closure. Telling Giles would be the most difficult thing of all, she knew how he felt for Angel and didn't fault him a bit for it. If the truth be told she admired the fact that he could look at Angel at all without breaking into a fit of hysteria. Well she would just make a run for it, tell him on her way out the door, the fewer questions the better.
Giles smiled at Buffy as she reentered the room, he wondered briefly who had been on the phone but what concerned him most was helping Buffy sort out this financial mess that had somehow weighed her down. As she breezed by him he asked what was going on. He was shocked when she told him that Angel had called and wanted to meet, though he knew he shouldn't have been. Angel would want to assure himself she was once more alive just as he had. His shock turned to anger when she informed him that she had to leave immediatly. Angel always came first where Buffy was concerned, how many times had he been thrown by the wayside because of a call or a glimpse from Angel. He remembered back to the prom and how he had thought she had never looked lovlier. He had been moments away from asking her to dance when Angel arrived and as usual all he was left to do was watch and feel his heart break a little more.
When she walked out the door he thought there wasn't enough left of his heart to break again , but as always it found enough to do the damage. He decided he didn't want to know what happened during their rendezvous as long as she came back to him safe and sound. Too often she had come from an encounter with Angel in tears, she tried to hide the pain but he knew her too well for that to work on him. Dealing with his own pain was never quite so hard as seeing her try to deal with hers, she usually failed miserably instead opting to hold it inside until she could bare it no longer.
It had been hours when he heard the car pull up in front of the house. He rushed to the window to make sure it was her and then hastily made his way back to the couch and tried to appear as though he hadn't spent every second she was gone paceing. The door opened and she breezed through it looking peacefull and happy. His heart constricted to see her like that, to know that it was Angel who had put that smile on her face when he could barely get her to notice he was there.
Her face lit up in a grin when she saw Giles was sitting on the couch waiting for her like she knew he would be. She finally felt like that part of her life, Angel, was behind her and she could move on. She looked at Giles and couldn't help but smile at the thought of his warm and gentle embrace. She had put off telling him how she felt because she was sure he wouldn't respond in kind, he had never seen her as anything other than a daughter, but if dying had taught her anything it was to seize the day. Giles would be by her side no matter what and their friendship had grown so over the years that she knew it could handle her unrequited love.
He was so entranced by the look on her face that he almost forgot to breath. Consequently when she sat down beside him he was panting for air. "Giles are you alright?" "Yes I'm quite fine thank you Buffy, How were things with Angel? Do you need to talk about it because I'm always here for you. I hope you know that." Buffy smiled, of course she knew that about him, never once had she doubted his caring for her, not even on her 18th. Now she had to find out how much he cared for her and in what fashion.
"Giles there's something I have to tell you and I know you're going to want to interrupt but it would make this so much easier on me if you just listened until the end ok?" His heart cried out in pain at that for he knew what she would say. They had gotton back together and he would be moveing back here shortly so they could continue their affair. "Buffy you really owe me no explanation, if you and Angel have patched things up then I...." She put a finger to his lips stopping his mistaken ranting before he let himself get too upset. "Angel and I are not back together, in fact there's been someone else I have been desperatly in love with for years but I had never had the courage to say anything, until now."
She saw the glimmer of hope in his eyes and then watched as it died when he let himself analyze things too much, did he really hold such a low opinion of himself? "Ok Giles this is the part where I need you just sit and listen, can you please do that for me?" Giles resigned himself to listen to whatever news she had to bring him, he nodded his head slightly and braced himself for what was to come. "Like I said, there's been someone I have been in love with for years now but I chickened out of telling him because I was too afraid of the rejection. You know that my love life has never truely been a success but I believe the reason for that is you."He couldn't believe what his ears were telling him, he had always tried to remain neutral around Buffy when it came to his feelings of her paramours. Buffy placed her hand on his cheek to comfort him and draw his attention back to her. "Giles the reason it's all your fault is because every man I have ever known has been compared to you, therefore how could anyone else have had a chance? I have been in love you with for so long now that it feels as though every part of me sings with that love."
He was sure she had said that she was in love with him but how could that be? He decided he had best pay closer attention to what she was saying as he had obviously got lost somewhere along the way. "Yes Giles it's you that I'm in love with. You're a sweet, gentle, kindhearted, sexy, handsome, adorable man and I love you. Gosh it feels good to say that out loud. Now I understand if you don't feel the same way and this will do nothing to change our friendship, in my eyes at least..." No more words were able to come out as Giles' mouth had come to rest on her lips. She smiled into them and sighed happier than she could ever remember being. After kiss upon sweet sensual kiss he pulled back, this illicited a groan from Buffy.
"Oh my dearest Buffy, how many times have I dreamed to hear you say those words but I never allowed myself to think you would ever truely feel the same. I have loved you from the moment I saw you walk into the library. Wait here I'll be right back." She was suprised when he stood and left the living room, surely that wasn't a normal reaction to someone confessing their feelings? When he returned he had a small velvet box in his hand. He walked to where she was seated and knelt in front of her. "Buffy I know this is sudden but I love you with my every breath and I cannot ever imagine being able to breath again without you by my side always. This was my grandmothers ring, I keep it with me for luck. I want you to wear it Buffy, luv I can think of no greater honour than to have you as my wife." She could hardly see him through the tears in her eyes, never before had she imagined such joy exsisted. The words wouldn't come out so instead she nodded her head and slipped off the couch into his arms. He placed the ring delicately on her finger and they kissed until their lips were numb. There would be time to tell the others tomorrow, their only thought for now was to hold onto each other and never let go.