Be careful with what you eat
By Tag

Title: Be careful with what you eat, silly surreal fic
Author: Tag
Disclaimer: Joss and WB, fox network and various others owns everything related to BTVS, I don’t own anything
Rating: PG?
Paring: B/G sort of…
Summery: weird things happen
Feedback: only if you promise not to kill me <g>
Distribution: just let me know so I can avoid the link in the future <g>
Notes: this was written after spending almost 2 days on a ship with not enough sleep and I really needed to get this out of my head. Weird things happen in chat, and Jacinta, you really don’t want to read this, believe me! (and if you do, please don't tell Koala!<bg>)
People to thank: Milk and Gail who did the beta reading and convinced me to post it, thank you!

The silence was disturbed by the sound of running feet through the grass.
The runner was breathing heavily.
She moved with agility and determination while she cursed herself for not bringing any weapons. She could hear the movements behind her and the noise was getting closer. There were no hiding places in sight and the … what ever it was, were hot on her heels. It felt like a smaller earthquake each time it took a step Ehm, each time it moved forward. She knew she had to do something or the beast would do terrible things to her. If the situation had been serious, the mere thought about a creature like that would have made her laugh, but unfortunately the thing was real. It was a 12 foot high, all muscles, primitive creature and all she had was a tiny stake.

*Argh even if I can get close enough to stake it, it would be no good. I have no idea where the heart is! And where is Giles when I need him?! Oh right, the ‘thing’ got him and that’s why I have to slay it! *

They had been out on a picnic and the day had been perfect, they had gathered their belongings when the sun was about to set. Then, like a bullet from a gun, a giant creature had appeared out of nowhere and grabbed the cursing Giles. He had managed to tell her to run before he disappeared from her view.
She was furious. How could he order her to run when he was in danger! She took a closer look at the creature and decided a distraction was needed in order for her to get away; she took the bread knife from the basket and threw it into the creatures tail. It didn’t make a sound but tried to step on her. She turned around and ran while she tried to remember the spell Willow had taught her the week before in case a situation like this ever occurred. The downside to the spell was it didn’t last for more than a few minutes but it was supposed to be enough for her to regroup.

Unfortunately, the monster could jump over long distances, and she soon felt its paws lift her off the ground. It put her in its pouch where she found an unconscious Giles.
She searched frantically for a pulse and sighed in relief when she finally found it. It was weak and it didn’t seem like he had trouble breathing. He looked so peaceful, so relaxed and young, not mid forties and certainly not stuffy. She shook her head to clear it and began to observe the surroundings; all she could see was fur, white, red and brown. She could see the edge of the pouch above her, not near enough for her to reach, but she could probably jump up and catch it or climb the distance. A noise startled her, it was Giles and he was awake. He tried to sit up but fell again when the fur made him sneeze.

“How do you feel?”

She offered him a hand, which he gratefully accepted,

“I feel like I’ve been whacked on the head and then bouncing up and down in this cold fur hell. Why couldn’t it just have been a normal demon?”

He looked so defeated that Buffy just had to hug him. While she stood there, leaning into his chest and listened to his heartbeat, a realisation hit her like lightning.
Her hands began to caress his back; she let her left hand wander up to his neck and gently pull his head down to meet hers. She started with small kisses but they soon accelerated to a battle between tongues and their hands moved faster.
Suddenly, their surroundings began to move, as if the giant animal was fighting something. Buffy began to climb up the ‘wall’ and when she reached the edge the sight before her eyes made her fall down again.

“What did you see?”

She glared at him and to let him understand he’d asked the wrong question,

“eh, are you all right?”

“Yeah, and I might be wrong but I just saw the largest and meanest Koala with red eyes trying to hit this… this animal.”

The two giant animals fought long and dirty, while Buffy and Giles tried to avoid getting squeezed like a frog run over by a car. Never before had a battle like this occurred.
Koalas and kangaroos lived very differently, and usually they were much smaller then 12 and 14 feet, but never the less it was happening around the slayer and her watcher.
The kangaroo had large fangs and tried to bite the koala, but its fur protected it.
Finally it managed to strangle the kangaroo and made it possible for Buffy, who had climbed out of the pouch, to stake it; the world changed as the giant vampiric Kangaroo turned to dust. She woke up in Giles’ arms looking annoyed.

“This it the last time I’ll let you feed me eels!” was all she said before she kissed him senseless.
She wanted to finish what had been interrupted in her food-induced nightmare.