By Jess

Title:  Bachelor
Author:  Jess
Rating:  PG-13
Distribution:  You want it. It's yours!  Just tell me so I can do a happy dance.
Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, WB, Mutant Enemy & lets not forget the big bad evil FOX demon.  And heck anyone else who owns a piece.  No copyright infringement intended.
Summary:  Just a bit of plotless fun.  Buffy signs Giles up for a Bachelor Auction.
Feedback:  Please!!!  All feedback greatly appreciated? & craved.  & needed!!  I'll beg!  Really!!  Please.
Authors Note: Well it's late & I got this idea when I found out about Giles being in the TVGuide: You Sexy Thing, voting poll.  So I hope you enjoy Giles back in his Tuxedo as much as I did.  This also hasn't been BETA'd I'm sorry but I cant find anyone willing to sit through correcting my mistakes.

Giles sat in his new office, it was good to have somewhere to go everyday. And as the newest Prof. of Mythology, he was in his element.  Musty books lined every wall, his research papers scattered his desk, with notes scribbled in the margins.

Shoving the latest term paper aside, he grabbed UC Sunnydale's local paper. Flicking through the pages, not really reading, but steeling himself for Buffy's arrival, wearing no doubt another one of her mind-bendingly skimpy workout outfits.  Just about to flip to another page, a certain article caught his eye.  The local university 'Faculty Bachelor Auction'.  Every year the University auctioned off willing eligible bachelors from the faculty to the students, in the name of charity.  Giles chuckled to himself, "The poor sods that get roped into that!"  Picking up his cold tea he scanned down the bios of this years candidates, choking on his tea as a very familiar name came into focus.  "I'm gonna kill them!" he muttered to himself.

Outside the door, three heads ducked under the window as they saw Giles' face darken ominously.

"Do you think he's found the article yet?" Buffy turned to the red head beside her.

"Well he looks pretty upset!"  Willow answered.

"I told you guys that he'd be pissed." Xander said sliding down the door till he was sitting with his back against it.  He tossed another cheesy chip into the air, catching it in his mouth.

Suddenly the door opened behind him & Xander found himself sprawled through the doorway of Giles office.  Looking into the very pissed face the ex watcher.  "Who's idea was it?" He ground out through his clenched teeth.

Xander and Willow gulped audibly their eyes going straight to Buffy, who ducked her head, scuffing her toe.

"Buffy in my office now!"

"Giles.  It's.  well. it's for a good cause."

"That's no excu.."

The door slammed, shutting off the rest of the sentence.

"Oh ho, I think Buffy's in a big ole' barrel of trouble."  Willow said turning with Xander to walk down the corridor, leaving their best friend to her fate.

"Nah, I give it five minutes in that outfit & Giles will be eating out of her hand."


"Buffy . h .how could you do this?  You should know that I'm a private man. I couldn't. couldn't even imagine. how could you. prancing in front of all those. those. my God!"  He pulled his glasses off, rubbing the bridge of his nose.


"No Buffy.  This is inexcusable."

Buffy sat down on the Giles paper scattered desk, her already miniscule skirt riding further up her thigh.

Giles gulped, averting his eyes he started quoting Latin verbs under his breath.

"Buuut Giles, it's for a good cause.  Just think of all those kiddies the new shelter will help.  All the good you can do."

Giles had stopped paying attention, as soon as she sat down, and was now thinking of ways to get her out of his office, before he did something he'd regret, like kiss her senseless.  "Ok, fine. I'll do your little. little auction.  So go, & gloat with Xander and Willow."

"Oh Giles, just wait, it'll be fun, you'll see."  She threw her arms around him, giving him a quick peck on the mouth.  Giles shuddered and closed his eyes, at the feeling of her pressed up against him.  As she pulled away he missed the knowing smile that crossed Buffy's face.  "Well I guess I should go do that learn thing."  Then she almost skipped from the room.


Giles fidgeted with his tuxedo, he still couldn't understand how he had agreed to this fiasco.

"And now, UC Sunnydale's newest member of faculty, Rupert Giles."  The Mcee' s voice called from the stage.  He felt himself suddenly shoved onto the stage, the lights from the camera of local media flickering all over the room.

Come on old man, you can do this, he thought to himself.  Thinking back to the days he lived hand to mouth in London.  Days he accepted many a job when not raising demons, including one as a male model.  He decided to show Sunnydale just how unstuffy he could be.  As he strutted his stuff down the aisle, he had no idea how the slacks of his suit molded to his body in a oohhh so lovely way, or the shirt rippled seductively over the muscles of his chest. The Mcee whistled under her breath then took up the auctioning again.

"I have it on good authority that our sexy new Prof. of Mythology imported all the way from London, wasn't always such a book worm, & has apparently been known to raise a little hell."  She winked at him.  "Shall we start the bidding ladies?  We'll start at $50.  Do I hear $50 dollars?"  As the bidding started Giles laughed to himself, who would have thought that he'd
willingly. well almost, let himself be sold off like cattle.

"That's $500, do I hear any advance on $500?  Suddenly a hand raised in the back.


"$1000, our highest bid so far.  Do I hear an advance on $1000?"

There was a quiet pause as girls frantically calculated just how much they could spend, and came up short.

"$1000. going once. going twice. sold!  To bidder #43."  Giles sauntered off the stage, trying to think who in the student body had $1000 to bid on someone.  He was then herded with the rest of the men into a lounge area, where they would meet their buyers.

"Ok ladies, get out those checkbooks, and your student ID's.  Pay Rhonda & Melanie at the desk then you will be introduced to your latest purchase."

Giles sat on the couch & waited patiently, until he heard his name called, he stood up & glanced towards the table where Bidder #43 stood.  Without his glasses all he could see was someone with dark brown hair, wearing large dark glasses.  As she walked towards him, there was something familiar about her, but that was to be expected she was a student.

As she finally stepped in front of him, Giles gulped.  "Buffy?"

Ignoring his question she walked around him running her hand slowly, agonizingly up his arm, across his chest, then down his other arm.  "My, my, what to do?  A whole day with the infamous Ripper!  What ever will we do with ourselves?" she smiled seductively at him.

Giles stood there gaping at his Slayer, albeit a brown haired, wig wearing Slayer, but his Slayer, looking at him with lust sparkling in her eyes.

"Mouths look better closed, Giles."