I asked first

AUTHOR: Gabriele Schulz
EMAIL:
gabi@gschulz.de
RATING: PG13
DISTRIBUTION: Watching you, Watching me, The New Buffy/Giles Relationshippers, Jess's Library, Greatest Love Of All. Others please ask first.
SPOILERS: Not much, probably set after GII
FEEDBACK: Do I feel like begging today? *Pleeeease*
SUMMARY: Buffy finds Giles with another woman and is obviously upset. B/G
DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Productions, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television, the WB Television Network, and whoever else may have a hold on them. I do not mean to infringe upon any copyrights.
NOTES:
My response to Cap's third challenge: I want you to write a B/G fic where the scooby gang catch Giles in a one night stand, and Buffy throws the mother of all temper tantrums revealing more about her feeling then she wanted too.
Oops. I just noticed that it's not the gang, but only Buffy. Well. I should read the challenges more thoroughly. Sorry.
This is not a funny one, just so that you're warned.
DATE: 8/2/99


*Knock, knock*

Why was he taking so long. Buffy was about to get worried, when Giles opened the door.

"H-hi, Buffy. Is something wrong?"

Why did he think she was knocking at his door frantically? And why didn't he wear a tie and why was his shirt not buttoned to the top and also buttoned wrongly if she wasn't mistaken. She looked down at him. He wore neither shoes nor socks and looking back to his face, she realized his hair was tousled and... something else, which was for some reason alarming.

"Yes. I met a rather ugly little creature on patrol."

"Are you all right?"

"Yes. I am, but I'd appreciate it if you let me in."

"Eh..."

He slightly opened the door and Buffy could see a woman approaching them. She was wearing one of Giles shirts - and nothing else as far as Buffy could see.

"Hi," she said smiling friendly at Buffy, who looked at the woman as if the only thing that kept her from killing her right there and then was that killing humans was against the rules.

"Is that your daughter?"

"*No*, I'm *not* his daughter!"

Buffy didn't realize how possessive it sounded, but the woman obviously did.

"Oh, I... are you his wife?"

"Who are *you*?"

She looked at Giles, who seemed quite intimidated by Buffy's outburst.

"Eh, Buffy... why, eh, why don't you sit down on the couch..."

He opened the door to let her in, but Buffy just stared at him, then the woman, then back to him.

"Who is she?"

"Sh-she... her name... her name is, eh..."

"Maddy."

"Yes, Maddy, thank you."

"Well, I'm Buffy and he knows *my* name."

Giles backed away at the force in her voice, but Maddy didn't flinch.

"Hi Buffy. I don't know what kind of relationship you two have, but I can only assure you, that I don't intend to interfere with it. I didn't know there was someone else, so I assumed he was free or didn't care about it. I'm sorry if I was wrong. I'll just put my clothes on and be out of here."

With that she went up the stairs into Giles' bedroom.

Giles looked after her, then to the ground, then dared to look up at Buffy. Her jaw was clenched and her hands were balled into fists and trembling with the pressure she forced into them.

Not a word passed between them until Maddy came back down.

"Bye Buffy."

She smiled at her, then turned to Giles and kissed him.

"Bye Rupert. Have a nice life."

Then she left through the still open door and closed it after her.

There was a long silence before Giles hesitantly spoke.

"You said, you encountered a demon?"

"Fuck what I said. Who was that? And what the hell was she doing here? I mean apart from the obvious."

"Buffy..."

"Yes?"

"She... it was just... She asked me for directions and we started talking and, well..."

"She asked you for directions?"

"Yes."

"And what kind of directions would that be? To your bedroom?"

"Buffy!"

"God, Giles, that must have been the lamest come-on of all times and you fell for it."

"Wh... You think she..."

"Giles, if you only want directions you ask, you listen and you go."

"Maybe you're right."

"Of course I'm right. I can understand that she would hit on you, but what I can't understand is that you just went along. What is wrong with you?"

There was a short silence before he spoke.

"Why does there have to be something wrong with me if I have sex?"

"You don't even know this woman. God, you couldn't even tell me her name."

"I... it was just..."

"Sex. I know. If it was more I would have..."

Killed her. She knew that she shouldn't think like that, but the idea that someone could take him away from her hurt too much.

He looked at her expecting her to go on.

"Nothing."

"Buffy, I'm sorry. I never wanted anyone to find out, least of all you."

"Then why did you do it?"

He sighed and sat down on the couch. She followed him, but didn't sit down.

"Buffy, it's been a long time since I... and I'm just a person. I have..."

"Needs, I know." She spoke calmly now. "Don't you think, I have needs to. Desire, wanting. God, Giles, I want... so much, but I'd never try to... not like that. It's not that what I want. I want... love."

"I want love, too." He looked up at her. "More than anything in the world. I didn't plan this. It just happened. And I already regret it."

She sat down next to him.

"Why, Giles?"

"Buffy... I... I thought it wouldn't matter. That I don't know her and certainly don't love her. It used to be unimportant. When I was younger."

"You're not Ripper any longer. How could you think, that a one-night-stand would change anything? The long nights that you lie awake, dreaming of only one person. Dreaming of touching that person, of whispering vows of love, while you make love."

She didn't look at him and he knew that she was talking about herself. And Angel.

"I'm sorry, Buffy. And I know it will hardly be a consolation, but I know how you feel. When you love so much, but know, that all you want and desire will never be yours. I know that feeling. Of course not with Angel."

The false smile on his face disappeared at her sudden outburst.

"It's not Angel!"

He looked at her.

"It's not Angel," she repeated calmly.

"Who is it then?"

She looked at him for a long moment debating with herself, whether she should finally tell him. Let him know, that she loved him, but she decided against for the same reasons, that had kept her from telling him a long time ago. She was afraid. She didn't know how she could live on, when he rejected her.

She stood up and went towards the door. In the middle of the room she turned around and smiled sadly.

"I'm so sorry about Jenny."

He suddenly got up towards her and gripped her arm.

"It's not Jenny."

They stood like that for a long moment. Looking at each other, searching for something that would destroy the fear, that they shared without knowing.

Finally Giles spoke.

"Who is it, Buffy?"

"I... if it's not Jenny who is it?"

"I asked first."

"I... I can't tell you, Giles."

"Why not? It can't be any worse than Angel."

Tears were starting to fill in her eyes.

"I'm so afraid."

"Of what?"

"I can't lose you."

"Buffy, you'll never lose me, even if you were in love with the devil himself."

"It's not the devil. It's the most wonderful man in the world."

"Then why can't you tell me?"

"Because I love you so much."

The tears finally found their way down her cheek.

"Giles, I love you more than anything in the world. And if you don't feel the same I don't know what to do. I just know that I cannot live without you."

He was stunned. He just stared at her waiting to wake up as he usually did sooner or later, when he heard her say that she loved him. Although it was different in his dreams.

She waited for him to speak, to destroy all her hopes and dreams. But he didn't.

"I love you."

She could see it more than hear it, for it wasn't even barely a whisper. She didn't react. He spoke again louder this time.

"I love you so much."

She started to breath heavily than flung her arms around him, crying into his chest. He stroked her back and her hair and kissed her head, while she wept uncontrollably, gripping him as hard as she could. He would probably have some bruises the next day, but he couldn't care less.

He closed his eyes and smiled.

When the sobs subsided they looked at each other. Finally their dream had come true and it was still too overwhelming to truly believe.

Buffy didn't dare to move, just took in every inch of his face. His loving eyes, his smile. She still couldn't believe, still feared to wake up from this dream.

Then he bent his head down to hers and when she felt his lips on hers, she finally knew that she wasn't dreaming. It was real.

He wanted her. He desired her.

He loved her.

Just as she loved him.

THE END